State facing rough waters next year

OLYMPIA – As Dino Rossi and this year’s crop of unsuccessful statehouse contenders recede into election history, here’s something to cheer them up.

Congratulations. It will not be your job to try to steer the ship of state through some very stormy waters ahead.

Consider:

•To keep doing what it does today, state government will need $34.5 billion in taxes and other revenue over the next two years. The problem? Only $31.3 billion is expected. And that number’s likely to shrink more next week.

So you’ll miss the fighting over a shrinking budget pie, with the late nights, strong-arm lobbying and heart-rending pleas that’s likely to entail. Already, state offices are awash in layoff fears and worries of much deeper budget cuts to come.

•You’ll avoid being in charge at a time when the latest state economic review looks like this:

“September’s credit crunch knocked the wind out of an already weakening economy … Tight credit, the overhang of housing inventory, poor consumer and business confidence and a global slowdown will continue to shackle the U.S. economy.”

•Also, you’ll miss being handed the responsibility for what outgoing state school Superintendent Terry Bergeson has called a once-in-a-generation chance to dramatically overhaul schools. After months of work, lawmakers face half a dozen extremely complex and varied proposals, most likely to cost a lot. Which the state (see above) – doesn’t have.

And in case that’s not stressful enough, this debate’s happening under the shadow of a potentially massive lawsuit by schools who say the state isn’t paying nearly enough for schools.

So there are some bright spots for those of you who campaigned only to fall short. The bad side, of course, is that you won’t have your hand on the tiller while big decisions are being made.

For the winners, welcome in January to what promises to be a grueling legislative session in Olympia.

And bring your coffee makers.

Driscoll/Ahern still hangs in the balance

Still waiting to hear if they’ll be coming to Olympia are state Rep. John Ahern, R-Spokane, and Democratic challenger John Driscoll. As I write this a week after Election Day, the two are locked in a cliffhanger that’s likely to require a recount.

Driscoll is ahead by 63 votes out of nearly 70,000 cast.

It’s hard to read the tea leaves on this race. Late ballots helped Ahern close the gap. But in a count Monday night, Driscoll’s lead grew. It’s the closest legislative race in the state.

Note to lawmakers

Researchers at Oxford University have compiled a list of what they judged English’s most annoying phrases, and most, it turns out, are staples of politics.

Among them: “At the end of the day”; “with all due respect”; “it’s a nightmare”; “24/7”; and an Olympia floor speech staple – “it’s not rocket science.”

From the mailbag

•The state penitentiary in Walla Walla is hosting “a press tour of its execution chamber” later this month. The guided tour, including security screening, apparently takes about five hours.

•Among the things the U.S. Supreme Court is slated to consider this week, the Baptist Joint Committee writes to tell me, are a case involving Summum, a Utah sect that wishes to place a monument to its “Seven Aphorisms” beside a Ten Commandments display in a local park.

Among them: the Third Aphorism, which consists of “Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.”

The group also practices “eternal memorialization through mummification,” a phrase they’ve apparently trademarked. They’ve mummified a Doberman, and are willing to do the same with you when you die, in exchange for an unspecified donation.

The sect has repeatedly asked to erect monuments to its Seven Aphorisms in Utah parks. Rather than allow that, Salt Lake City removed a Ten Commandments monument. So did Ogden.

In a novel approach, Summum says, the city of Duchesne privatized a 10-foot by 10-foot section of a public park around a Ten Commandments display there.

•The professional wrestling outfit “Total Nonstop Action” is inviting Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be an honorary member of its “elite group of TNA knockouts led by Angelina Love and Velvet Sky.”

The Nashville-based group is offering $50,000 to Palin’s favorite charity – or Wasilla’s youth hockey league – if she shows up for a Dec. 7 wrestling event in Florida.

“I know firsthand what challenges you have to face when breaking a glass ceiling in a male-dominate(d) profession,” said TNA president Dixie Carter.

But seriously

In a post-election victory-lap memo to staffers, Gov. Chris Gregoire’s campaign manager, Kelly Evans, said she was happy with how things had gone east of the Cascades.

“The Gregoire campaign had paid campaign staff across the state, including Spokane and Clark counties, as early as June,” Evans wrote. “The 2004 campaign had only five field organizers working out of Seattle on the day of the election. In a race that was essentially a statistical dead heat in 2004, there were votes to be picked up everywhere and the commitment to campaign outside of the Puget Sound region paid off, even if we didn’t win those counties.”