I’ve been hanging out with too many people who think like I do. Because of concerns about the economy, climate change, health care and world peace, I believe this is the most important presidential election in my lifetime. But my ranting about the Bush presidency and McCain’s running mate have sent red-staters I meet running for cover.

As a former Alaskan of 24 years, I have made noises for weeks about writing a letter to the editor describing how ill prepared Sarah Palin is for the vice presidency. How her selection reveals that McCain does not have our country’s best interests at heart. That you cannot see Russia from Alaskan soil except from tiny Little Diomede Island and that Wasilla is a strip mall town the size of Colville and Liberty Lake. But you know all that or don’t want to.

When I read a draft of this letter to my Sunday book club, my intensity was so charged, one member suggested politics be left at the door. I had not convinced anyone. I had polarized the camps. On the way home, I thought back to Friday night’s party brimming with blue-staters. We were all in agreement about the campaign, except for the couple inching closer and closer to the door.

After book club, I came to the painful epiphany that my inflamed rhetoric was making things worse. I need to discuss politics, that’s who I am, but I had to dial it down.

That Monday, I bought a used computer screen from red-stater Russ. Over coffee, we discussed the election and this time instead of ranting, I listened more. We had a great conversation about the history of presidential politics and the future of our country. We didn’t change each other’s minds. But we didn’t turn each other off, either. I hope to touch base with Russ in the coming months, to understand better how the other side thinks, in hopes that this one American can work with others instead of shoving them away.

Tuesday I brought up the campaign during my haircut. Still undecided, my hairdresser is worried about the environment and her husband’s 401(k). She didn’t ruin my hair and I appreciated hearing her concerns. I hope we can discuss current affairs every appointment.

Later in the week the sprinkler guy gave a thumbs up as I installed an Obama sign in my mom’s yard. Then he asked my thoughts on Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton. Rather than jumping in as I usually do, I paused and asked him why he wanted to know. “A woman’s perspective,” he said. An older woman, I thought. I briefly listed my concerns about Palin and how Hillary’s dedication and intelligence were extraordinary, but in my view represented the old guard when a new world order was needed. But I also told him how my childhood friends this past summer helped me see Hillary and her campaign in a new way.

2009-2010 is the centennial celebration of women winning the vote in Washington state. Midway through the referendum battle, state leaders May Arkwright Hutton of Spokane and Emma Smith Davoe of Seattle lobbed such bitter invectives and fought so hard for personal power that they almost tanked the campaign.

When both got kicked out of the national suffrage convention in June 1910, leaving Washington state with no representation, these two smart women stared each other down, then looked into their hearts. Did they want women to vote or did they need to be right? My role models took the high road and on Nov. 5, 1910, Washington became only the fifth state to offer women full suffrage.

This Nov. 5, Americans must put aside partisan differences. Communication from both sides of the divide can better help us solve our nation’s complex problems. And it starts with me.