Cinderella needs a gown

Dear Harriette: I was invited to a black-tie party for my job, and I’m excited to go; however, I have a big problem. I don’t have an evening gown, and I was told that I must wear one. I can’t afford to spend a lot of money on a dress, but I know this is a great opportunity for me. Should I tell my boss? That seems embarrassing. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my co-workers, either, because I’m not sure who has been invited to go. What should I do? — Susie, Dallas, Texas

Dear Susie: Figure out exactly how much money you can spend on an outfit. No matter how small your budget, figure it out. Then get creative. Look out for super-discounted sales at the local department store. Because so few people are shopping these days, consumers actually have an incredible advantage. Bargains are there for the taking. Look for slightly damaged goods for even deeper discounts. Check out local discount malls, where prices start low and are likely lower now as stores work feverishly to move inventory. Also, consider secondhand shops. Evening gowns are rarely worn much before they are discarded. You may be able to find a beautiful, nearly new dress for a “steal” at one of these outlets. You can find what you need! Don’t give up.

Dear Harriette: I was in the bathroom at church last week, and I overheard several of my “friends” from the choir talking about me. They were horrible. In just the few minutes it took to wash their hands and refresh their makeup, they abused me — my clothes, my boyfriend, my hairstyle, my job. I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I stayed in the stall until they left. But now I can’t look at them in the same way. I know I’m supposed to be a Christian, but I don’t know how to forgive people for being so mean and petty. They were downright nasty. What should I do about it? — Laura, Staten Island, N.Y.

Dear Laura: The next time you attend choir rehearsal, start up a conversation. Ask them in a group why they would be so cruel as to talk about you the way they did. Ask them if you have done something to hurt them in the past of which you are unaware. Ask them why they as a group spoke so vilely about you.

Chances are they will deny everything and ask you what in the world you are talking about. That’s when you provide specifics about their conversation. If necessary, tell them that you were in the stall and you heard everything. Tell them that as a Christian you want to be able to forgive them, but you need to understand why they would say such things first. Your relationship may never be the same, but they will know you won’t put up with slander without a fight.