It is entirely sensible to make the safety of children paramount when deciding whether to close schools when the weather turns ugly. Better to stay home than to risk the perilous walk to school or the bus. Better to keep those buses off the roads. Better to clear the roofs of snow rather than risk collapses.

But for many kids, schools are the safe houses from the everyday physical and emotional dangers they face. For one thing, more than half the schoolchildren in Spokane rely on cafeterias for free and reduced-price meals. Along with being hungry, these kids witness more violence and alcohol and drug abuse when they stay home. They might be beaten or sexually abused themselves. Or, perhaps, they’re left home alone to ponder the awful things that will happen when the adults return.

In that context, a slippery excursion to school looks good.

Most kids cheer “snow days,” but for others it’s been three weeks of hell. The schools are their shelters from the storm.

Pipe dream. A conservative Web site has hired “Joe the Plumber” to be “Joe the Middle East Correspondent.” Yes, Pajamas TV Media (pjtv.com) is sending Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher to Israel to report on the views of the average Menachem.

I suppose this could work. Plumbers and journalists both deal with leaks, and he won’t need a license. Anyway, I can’t wait to see the dispatches from a guy who thinks Obama’s election means death to Israel.

In other news, Christiane Amanpour will be over soon to fix my garbage disposal.

Tim 24:14. Apparently, God is interested in the outcome of college football bowl games, which is why post-game comments are continually prefaced with thanks to him. Leaving nothing to chance, University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow stenciled “John 3:16” into his eye black, and sure enough his team beat Oklahoma, 24-14. How does that go again?

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life and a national championship.”

Thanks for noticing. The nasty weather has spawned even nastier temperaments. Time to turn to the always soothing “Winnie-the-Pooh”:

Eeyore: “It’s snowing still.”

Pooh: “So it is.”

Eeyore: “And freezing.”

Pooh: “Is it?”

Eeyore: “Yes. However, we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”

You know things are grim when a droopy ass has the proper perspective.