Mike gets joshed by Dan over joe

Councilman Mike Kennedy can’t do a thing right, as far as Dan Gookin and his OpenCdA.com playmates are concerned. In a recent post, Gookin slammed Kennedy for leaving his seat for coffee during the March 3 council meeting, not once but twice. Harrumphed Gookin: “What message does that send us regarding his attentiveness and focus, not to mention his discipline?” Tongue firmly cheeked, Mike responded to Gookin’s broadside by informing Huckleberries Online that he had “an elaborate catheter and drainage system” installed under his desk in the council room. “It was expensive,” joked Kennedy. “but it allows me (with my admittedly small bladder) to drink more coffee than any small army could consume without having to get up and use the bathroom, thus ensuring I don’t fall asleep.” Alas, Mike continued in jest, the engineering department installed a flawed system. His internal intake works don’t have the same capacity as the discharge system. So Mike has to fetch coffee constantly to ensure the in-to-out system is balanced. According to Mike, the catheter drains under the library, McEuen Field, the Coeur d’Alene Resort, and ultimately into Riverstone Pond. Where, he claims, it single-handedly keeps the water level stable. Mike’s coffee consumption doesn’t sound like much of a campaign issue, if Gookin runs again for council. Oh well, he always has the Lake City Development Corp. to kick around.

Press Club, RIP?

Nothing speaks more to the condition of journalism in North Idaho then the March lunch meeting of the regional Press Club. Only one working journalist attended: Rick Thomas/CDA Press. Who was voted in as the new president, replacing my former S-R colleague Erica Curless, the new veep. Who now operates a horse/dog massage business (Dog & Pony Show) and freelances. New secretary-treasurer Linda Ball is freelancing for the S-R while looking for full-time work after being pink-slipped by Brand X. Erica told Huckleberries: “It was really sad and pathetic, a North Idaho Press Club with no employed members. Due to layoffs and an unfortunate lack of interest by the majority of our ‘membership,’ the press club is barely an organization, and we have no seminars or education events planned. Yet, because the tiny core still likes to break bacon and catch up, we will continue to have meetings about every five weeks.” Mebbe it’s time I signed up?

Huckleberries

At Dalton Elementary, my sister-in-law Lisa recently checked how well a group of first-graders could name the 50 states. Idaho, of course, was the first correct answer to crop up. Then, California. She was surprised, however, when a third child offered: “Athol.” Responded Lisa: “Athol isn’t a state.” But the first-grader insisted that it was because “my grandparents live there” … Blogger David Laird/Community Comment offers a new definition for “liquidity”: “Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants” … I’d love to see the rap sheet for that lanky mid-30s fella who entered CDA’s Super 1 around 6 one recent evening, complaining loudly to a female companion that “the Coeur d’Alene Police Department is the worst one in this country, bar none” … Alas, this item is a day too late to help the 50-something woman who had an estate sale yesterday on East Hayden Lake Road, which she advertised on Craigslist as “The Bastard Left Me With Nothing Sale – Hayden Lake.” May her next life be better … Scanner Traffic (from 9:26 a.m. Monday): “A woman wants to talk to police re: someone using her husband’s ID for an online dating service.” Hmm.

Parting Shot

My brother, known as Frito Ray in the Huckleberries blogosphere, survived “the talk” – you know, the one in which you tell your pre-pubescent youngster about the birds and bees. Ray’s talk, however, involved a 20-minute film and fifth-grade boys at Dalton Elementary. Seems Ray told teachers how impressed he was last year when son William was involved in “the talk.” And got drafted to handle the discussion duties this month. He did such a good job that several fathers told him afterward that they couldn’t have done what he did. Ray told Huckleberries that the boys “giggled like girls” at first but quickly tuned in. He had only one difficult question. One boy lamented that there wasn’t an alternative method for procreation. Methinks his attitude will change within a few years.