Another Spokane officer acting badly adds new facet to department’s saga

Sgt. Brad “To the Bone” Thoma has dodged criminal prosecution for his boozed-up, off-duty hit-and-run.

This the latest episode in Spokane’s ongoing law enforcement soap opera – “The Drunk and the Clueless.”

Well, there are two sides to every story, as my sweet momma always taught me. So let’s all relax a moment while I take my usual fair-and-balanced look at both sides of this case.

Then we can form into an angry mob and storm the Public Safety Building with corkscrews and flaming brandy snifters.

SIDE – In September, Sgt. Thoma’s pickup rear-ended a woman’s Ford.

OTHER SIDE – Should we really blame Sgt. Thoma? After all, he was driving a Dodge “Ram.”

SIDE – Sgt. Thoma was drunk as a monk.

OTHER SIDE – Sgt. Thoma told troopers he had been out golfing because he one day hopes to become the county prosecutor.

SIDE – Sgt. Thoma drove away from the accident scene without stopping.

OTHER SIDE – Nobody got Tased. Nobody got clubbed. Nobody got hogtied. That’s called progress at the Spokane Police Department.

SIDE – Sgt. Thoma gave the victim $471 to replace her bruised bumper.

OTHER SIDE – Plus a genuine SPD shot glass. Get ’em while they last!

SIDE – A letter signed by the victim persuaded a judge to dismiss a count against Sgt. Thoma of leaving the scene of an accident.

OTHER SIDE – Guess who’s never gonna worry about getting a speeding ticket for the rest of her life?

SIDE – The victim, however, said she thought the letter only applied to financial issues. She now feels misled.

OTHER SIDE – There goes the shot glass.

SIDE – By enrolling in a deferred prosecution program, Sgt. Thoma will have his drunken driving citation dismissed in five years.

OTHER SIDE – Or by enrolling in bartender college, Sgt. Thoma plans to perfect his own signature cocktails: the “Gin and Thoma” and the “Sarge-arita.”

SIDE – Sgt. Thoma has been suspended with pay from his $91,141-a-year job while his case is investigated internally.

OTHER SIDE – Being on a paid vacation has allowed Sgt. Thoma to keep up on the law by never missing an episode of “Judge Judy.”

SIDE – Nabbed in a grocery store parking lot, Sgt. Thoma was taken by troopers to the Washington State Patrol offices.

OTHER SIDE – Troopers then showed Sgt. Thoma how he could buy fake bartender college diplomas off the Internet for half the price of a new bumper.

SIDE – Sgt. Thoma made sure he hired Rob Cossey. He’s the lawyer who successfully defended both Jay Olsen, the drunk off-duty cop who shot a fleeing and unarmed civilian in the head, and Rob Boothe, who was accused by two fellow officers of kicking a handcuffed suspect in the face.

OTHER SIDE – Rob Cossey. Keeping our soap opera going, one cop caper at a time.