Tough times? Try tunes! We’ve got political carols! Financial carols! Scandal carols!

Yes indeedy, friends – it’s a holiday miracle! It’s … “Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!”

And a-one, and a-two, and …

(To the tune of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

Barackin’ around the Christmas tree

On your worthless real estate,

Try to forget the misery

And the unemployment rate,

Barackin’ along the campaign trail

With elections on the way,

Ev’ryone treads so carefully

Till Inauguration Day.

Ozone’s not a problem,

Put the ki-bosh on Plan B,

Don’t give in to labor’s hype line,

Let’s delay that Keystone Pi-i-peline …

(To the tune of “Silver Bells”)

We’ve got Bachmann, we’ve got Huntsman,

There’s Santorum and Paul,

Just a few of the endless contenders …

Polls are climbing, polls are dropping,

Watch ’em rise, watch ’em fall,

But from ev’ry TV set you hear:

“On the third day of Christmas,

Rick Perry gave to me …”

(To the tune of “Let it Snow”)

Well, it’s Twenty-twelve Anno Domini,

And they’re dumping Willard Romney,

While conservatives start to crow:

“We said no! We said no! We said no!”

His positions are truly vexing,

And he’s really good at flexing,

He’s electable – they’re, like, “So?”

They say no! They say no! They say no!!!

(To the tune of “Silent Night”)

Silent Newt,

Holy Newt,

Bites his tongue,

Busts his suit.

Cuddly grandpa as sweet as can be,

Family values with Wife Number Three,

Creeps back into the ra-ace –

Can’t wipe that smirk off his face.

(To the tune of “O Christmas Tree”)

O Euro debt, O Euro debt,

You still can’t find the bottom,

You wanted just one currency,

You wanted friends, you got ’em!

You took a stand, the world could see,

As Merkel teamed with Sarkozy,

O Euro debt, vast Euro debt,

As big as hippopotam –

(To the tune of “We Three Kings”)

These three things

Rick Perry would close:

“This, and that, and … one more like those …”

(To the tune of “Deck the Halls”)

Deck the halls with corporate riches,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

Watch as Wall Street moans and bitches,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

Straining hard to duck the onus,

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,

Waiting for their latest bonus,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Check the halls of Congress often,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

Watch those regulations soften,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

Toss aside your déclassé seat,

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,

Cash your chips and move to K Street,

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

(To the tune of “O Little Town of Bethlehem”)

O Little Town of Occupy …

With flutes, guitars and tents,

You stand your ground, your trumpets sound,

You make all kinds of sense.

The bankers and the brokers,

Are open in their wrath,

They offer you a different plan:

“Go home and take a bath!”

(To the tune of “Hark, the Herald”)

Hark, the herald angels sing,

“What became of Arab Spring?”

Hosni out, Qaddafi dead,

People Power starts to spread.

Tyrants face their final hour,

Holding tightly to their power,

Bullets fly and tear gas rains:

Middle Eastern growing pains,

Tear gas rains and bullets fly –

They’ll have their freedom by and by.