Norman Chad: Time to run out the clock on the Super Bowl

Lewis and Clark, Butch and Sundance, Hope and Crosby, Ben and Jerry, Brady and Belichick – duos that lifted their professions to new heights, by whatever means necessary. It used to be a game of inches, now it’s a game of pounds per square inch, and the Patriots – Super Bowl 49 champions – are as good as it gets in that area.

   As usual, I took it all in on and took copious notes:

   10:01 a.m. The Super Bowl is at University of Phoenix Stadium, Bob Costas tells us. The game’s being played online?

   10:03: Tom Brady sent NBC’s Rodney Harrison a pregame text – can’t believe he can hold a smartphone and football pump at the same time.

   10:20: Patriots buses leave team hotel; the tires look a little low.

   11:45: NBC begins its 2016 Summer Olympics coverage.

   12:20 p.m.: For some reason, when I see NBC News anchor Brian Williams, I don’t expect to hear news from him, I expect to be pitched some resort real estate property.

   12:27: NBC loses sound while Josh Elliott talks about Julian Edelman – a Patriots equipment manager is spotted near a power outlet outside the NBC production truck.

   1:36: Savannah Guthrie interviews President Obama in White House kitchen. Bad call – I didn’t listen to the president, I just watched the guy behind them chopping veggies.

   2:08 Toni, a.k.a. She Is The One (And Then Some), just walked in and suggested this be the last football game I ever watch. To get rid of her, I said I’d think about it.

   2:43: Meanwhile, my stepdaughter Mia says the Super Bowl should be played “at halftime of the Grammys.”

   3:25: You heard it here first – within five years, someone will throw a challenge flag on the coin toss.

   3:26: By the way, when you call “heads” on any coin toss, you will be wrong 58 percent of the time. #couchslouchanalytics

   3:34: Patriots go six-and-out on opening series; Brady clearly looks uncomfortable throwing fully inflated football.

   3:41: Seahawks go three-and-out on their opening series; Marshawn Lynch clearly looks uncomfortable running with fully inflated football.

   3:53: Brady is intercepted. It’s a very firm football today.

   3:58: The first quarter went by so fast, Katy Perry might not be fully dressed by halftime.

   4:02: This game’s reminding me of MLS Cup 2002, 2005 and 2011.

   4:12: Brady throws 11-yard touchdown pass to Brandon LaFell right after Patriots swap out footballs, undetected.

   4:30: Wilson finally gets first completion, due to breakdown in Patriots’ surveillance system.

   4:48: Rob Gronkowski monster-spikes ball after touchdown, returning it to exact Brady specifications.

   4:58: Six seconds left in the half and they run another play? Insane. And ingenious.

   5:17: Lenny Kravitz? Really? You’ve got to have an old-fashioned, deep Rolodex to get to Lenny Kravitz.

   5:35: Chris Matthews was working at Foot Locker when the Seahawks called him. He brought his own shoes.

   6:01: Trying to tackle Russell Wilson is like trying to eat soup with a fork.

   6:07: Does Geico get a bulk discount on all those spots? If it doesn’t, I guarantee your car insurance rates are going up.

   6:12: I’m not saying the Patriots are pushing the edges, but I just saw one of their DBs with a Taser.

   6:19: If the NBC programming gurus were real smart, they’d run the Super Bowl twice a week like they do “The Voice.”

   6:28: Sometimes I look at Danny Amendola and think, “I can do that.”

   6:31: Seahawks’ defense left game early in fourth quarter, like their 12th Man fans did at NFC championship game.

   6:57: Odell Beckham Jr. uses one hand to make a catch. Jevon Kearse uses both hands, both knees and his tummy to make a catch – on his back.

   7:00: One yard from the end zone and they throw it? Insane. And not ingenious. I guess Marshawn Lynch was winded from media day.

   10:07: bel•i•chick [bel-i-CHik] verb; to act dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage. Ex.: “They belichicked him out of everything he had.”

   7:08: But, boy, that fella can coach.