Newberry: Olympic champion Allison Schmitt struggles away from pool

Allison Schmitt seemed like the happiest person at the pool.

Always laughing. Always telling a corny joke.

Ask anyone about the five-time Olympic medalist, they’ll quickly rattle off some offbeat thing she said or did, something that got everyone smiling. They’ll usually finish the story with two words: “That’s Schmitty.”

But after her starring role at the 2012 London Games, the swimmer realized something wasn’t right. She felt depressed. She really didn’t like herself but wasn’t sure why.

For the longest time, she didn’t talk about it.

But the 24-year-old Pennsylvania native opened up about her struggles during an interview with The Associated Press at last weekend’s pro swim meet in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Reluctant at first, she decided to share her experience with other elite athletes.

“I didn’t like myself,” she said. “I didn’t like that I was feeling like that. I thought if I suppressed it, it would go away. But it was something where I needed help from outside sources.”

She didn’t go into specifics about her diagnosis or who she turned to for help, but believes she’s not the only one dealing with wearying burdens on the inside.

“You can put on a front for it,” she said. “On the outside, I can look happy and be doing a great time, but not really feel what I’m looking like.”

At London, Schmitt turned in one of the greatest performances of the Olympics, though her feats were a bit overshadowed by Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte and Missy Franklin.

Schmitt won her first individual gold with a dominating performance in the 200-meter freestyle. She took silver in the 400 free after a dramatic race with France’s Camille Muffat (who died in a helicopter crash 2 1/2 months ago). Schmitt also swam in all three relays, helping the U.S. win gold in the 4x100 free and 4x100 medley as well as take bronze in the 4x200 free.

After the Olympics, she returned to the University of Georgia to complete her degree in psychology.

But Schmitt struggled to recapture the form she showed at the Olympics. She failed to even qualify for the American team that competed in the 2013 world championships or the squad that will be at this summer’s worlds in Kazan, Russia.

It was clear something else was wrong.

“I don’t want to say it was (a lack of) confidence at the pool,” Schmitt said. “It was more about the confidence in myself.”

Her struggle really hit home a couple of weeks ago when a younger cousin killed herself.

Schmitt knows better than anyone that perception often has little to do with reality.

“Things are filtered on Instagram and social media or even walking around with a smile on your face, and it’s filtering out how you really feel,” she said. “After a few years, I’m finally being able to realize that.”

She’s still trying to sort out exactly how she reached her nadir, how a natural post-Olympic letdown took her to a darker place.

“Maybe the post-Olympic blues started it, and it just kept crashing down from there,” Schmitt said. “Or maybe it was not doing as well as I wanted to do (after the Olympics). I don’t know what triggered it. I would like to work on that and figure out what triggered it.”

Since she didn’t qualify for the world championships, Schmitt will compete this summer at what is essentially a backup meet, the Pan American Games in Toronto.