Alan Liere: The Duck Boat

Here it is, way past the season opener for waterfowl and Jim, Myron and I have still not put the finishing touches on our duck boat. My father once told me the quickest way to ruin a friendship was to loan money, but I think going partners on an old 16-foot wooden boat can accomplish the same thing in half the time. For potential animosity, it ranks right up there with loaning lawnmowers and slow dancing with a sister-in-law.

Even before we started disagreeing about paint and the size of the motor needed, the three of us took the boat to Eloika Lake to make sure we had effectively fiberglassed the cracks. Right off the get-go, Myron slipped on a screwdriver I’d left on the floor, got his foot tangled in a flotation cushion, and went overboard. He wasn’t wearing a life jacket and the flotation cushion stayed in the boat, so there was Myron, who can’t swim a lick, bug-eyed and thrashing and spitting cold water while I was trying real hard not to laugh.

Jim assessed the situation as a bit more critical than I and threw Myron the cushion. Then I suggested that if Myron would quit squealing and just stand up, he would find the water was only three feet deep and he could walk to shore. Had the water been deeper, I could have thrown him the anchor and accomplished the same thing.

As you can imagine, Myron didn’t have many nice things to say to me afterward, and a week later, there was another issue when the three of us couldn’t agree on what type of camouflage to use on the boat and what pattern would be best for all situations. I preferred mesh material in a marsh grass pattern, but Jim liked burlap and Myron was partial to a woodland pattern painted over waterproof canvas.

Right now, the biggest bone of contention involves where the boat will be kept once it is completed. Although it is nice to have a duck boat at your immediate disposal, none of us wants to sacrifice vehicle space in the garage for a boat that will only be used a half dozen times this winter.

We knew the rock, paper scissors method of solving this dilemma wouldn’t work as we had tried that with the camouflage thing. As the situation now stands, we may end up building a separate storage shed on my property and splitting the cost three ways. To an individual not as enamored as we are of swamp mud and pink sunrises, it doesn’t make much sense to spend $5,000 or more to house a $300 duck boat, but such is the nature of duck hunters.