Steve Massey: Disengaging means you can’t be part of the solution
A friend, visibly frustrated by his likely election choice this fall, proudly proclaimed his passage out of the dilemma.
“I don’t like any of them, so … I just won’t vote, then.”
I felt my disapproval rise up, demanding to be voiced. Doesn’t he realize that disengagement won’t solve anything? Doesn’t he know that he’ll be forfeiting his opportunity to make a positive difference?
But in a moment, disapproval gave way to personal examination. Conscience caught my tongue.
Don’t I also indulge the temptation to disengage when faced with difficulty? Don’t most of us?
Consider the evidence and consequence:
- A marriage suffers when a husband or wife disengages;
- Friends miss the sweetness of relationship when they allow busy-ness or distance or some small slight to justify disengagement;
- Our potential to grow through difficulties goes unrealized when we disengage.
What is true in elections is true in most of life: Disengagement is not the safe “third choice” that it often appears to be when we’re facing difficulties.
Disengagement promises that we’ll be painless and blameless. And it lies every time.
Again, consider the evidence and consequence:
When Jesus stood before Pontius Pilate, he did so as an innocent man. Pilate knew this and said so.
But Pilate could not placate an angry crowd calling for Jesus’ crucifixion, nor could he placate his own conscience by giving the mob what it wanted.
So he tried to disengage:
“… he sent for a bowl of water and washed his hands before the crowd…” says Matthew 27:24. And he said, “I am innocent of this man’s blood. The responsibility is yours!”
Did you catch that last part?
Disengagement promises to release us from culpability, to foist on others the burden we alone should bear, the painful right choice we should be making. And it never delivers on its promise.
By trying to disengage, avoiding the just-but-costly choice, Pilate destined himself to his singular, infamous legacy. Still today, chronic “disengagers” mouth his mantra: “I’ll just wash my hands of this.”
No, I’m not comparing my friend to Pilate. But note the similar mantra: “I just won’t vote, then.”
Shrinking back from a difficult choice, he’ll miss his opportunity to be a person of influence, to bear a burden he’s intended to carry.
And then he’ll be confronted with the lie of disengagement: though he did not participate, a result will occur anyway. And his indecision still will have influenced that outcome by some measure.
It’s true in all of life when we disengage: Disengaged spouses and friends get an outcome anyway. What’s lost is the potential to shape that outcome in a just and positive way.
In recent weeks, Christians have been celebrating Jesus’ refusal to disengage. He faced the difficult choice of going to Calvary’s cross for undeserving people who rejected Him.
He resolutely set out toward Jerusalem, to Calvary, choosing not to disengage, but instead to love sacrificially. That was the high price of an outcome that benefits all who trust in him: reconciliation with God.
I can’t help but think our tendency to disengage in the face of difficulties is a form of selfish preservation. We don’t want to pay the intellectual, emotional, or relational cost of doing, or at least influencing, what is right.
Are you tempted to disengage in some area of life?
Most of us are.
In fact, many are embracing my friend’s approach to politics these days.
Before we disengage, though, we do well to ask ourselves: Do we realize our disengagement won’t actually solve anything?
Do we really want to forfeit our opportunity to make a positive difference?
Steve Massey is pastor of Hayden Bible Church (haydenbible.org). He can be reached at (208) 772-2511 or steve@haydenbible.org.