Dear Annie: Leave the kids behind?

Dear Annie: My wife passed away in 2003. We had two children, who were 5 and 7 at the time. They were pretty spoiled. They have children of their own now and never seem to have time to come and visit me but always seem to have time for their boyfriends’ families. They always break dates with me and then post on Facebook about what a wonderful time they had with their “other” families. They never come around to just visit; it’s always when they need money or something else. I have possibly been given a chance to accept a job halfway across the country. I have told them about it, but they don’t seem to care. I feel guilty for even thinking about accepting it, but it would mean a better life for me. Should I accept the job if I’m offered it or take my name out of the hat? – Confused and Depressed

Dear Confused and Depressed: First, I implore you to seek counseling, as depression is a serious illness and shouldn’t go untreated.

As for the job, it sounds like an ideal opportunity to reclaim the starring role in your own life. Just think: Instead of sitting at home wondering why your children stood you up, you’ll be out exploring the town, trying new activities, meeting new people, maybe even going on dates. As a matter of fact, you could be doing all those things right now. Even if you don’t end up moving, you can and should seek fulfillment outside of your kids. You’ll always love your children, but you have to start living for yourself.