Front Porch: Peers, doctors help with ailments of aging

When I was younger, I, too, used to kind of sigh and do an internal eye roll when I’d hear a group of older people sit around and discuss their latest ailments. Now that I am one of those older people, I kind of get it.

Yes, it can be overdone, over-focused-on and annoyingly present at the wrong times (say, at a wedding reception), but what I’ve learned is that this kind of sharing is a networking of sorts, a self-help community of people trying to figure out how to deal with those ailments, symptoms and aggravations that are making life miserable or at least more uncomfortable than it need be.

We’ve only got so much time left, so, in addition to visiting with our doctors more than we used to, it’s important to visit with our peers and find out what they are doing to mitigate infirmities or what they’ve read about research on such-and-such condition or how they just cope. And often, we have more time on our hands and less to do, so some of us tend to sit around and listen to our hearts beat. And worry.

A person needs a filter and some good common sense when listening or participating in old-age-ailments discussions. But amid the junk science that can pop up in these conversations, there are often pearls of helpfulness – simple remedies that won’t make us 16 or even 40 or 60 again, but ones that can make life better. Sometimes it’s as simple as a friend mentioning a gentle exercise class she attends, and you going yourself and loosening up your joints as a result. Or just a friend coming over and going for a walk with you.

I began tai chi because of discussions having to do with loss of balance, and while I found it a wonderful experience, my legs were so wobbly that I was struggling with it. Some doctor visits followed, and while I do have knee and hip issues, what I have even more are incredibly weak muscles. You know that test where you hold a leg out and you’re supposed to resist while the doctor tries to gently push it down? Ha. The slightest pressure, and my leg drops like a stone.

I cannot get off a chair without employing my arms to lift me or go up or down stairs without clasping a railing for dear life. Sad to see. Sadder even to live with. So I began a course of physical therapy, both on land and in the pool, and am just concluding the formal portion of it. And while I cannot yet leap tall buildings at a single bound, my balance has improved, as has my leg strength. I can now stand from most chairs without arm assistance (except for getting out of those pesky booths in a restaurant) and only need a light hold on a railing when navigating stairs.

I will continue exercises at home and am hopeful for continued progress. I may even return to tai chi as well. And this all came about after a self-help discussion with peers and, frankly, one of my sons.

I learned the value of drinking water when experiencing low blood pressure. I learned about remedies for leg cramps. I tried certain foods to see if they might benefit an ailment. All this from friends who are similarly situated and share what works (and doesn’t work) for them. I think I’ve got a good snake oil detector, so I’m not likely to down a bowl of eye of newt any time soon (probably not, anyhow).

Sure, I ran some suggestions and home remedies by my primary care physician, who has also suggested common-sense remedies. And I’m not one of these people who go into my doctor telling her I read something online or “well, Dr. Google says …” – but I have found that the wisdom of my fellow aging citizens has augmented my own medical care and good health and well-being.

I do wish everyone could be able to see a doctor regularly, as that is surely some of the best help. One needn’t make such visits into a new career, but as we get older, we need greater maintenance, kind of like an old car. We just can’t throw things off like we did when we were younger. Sometimes a medical diagnosis or medical management is required – or a prescribed elixir of some sort (or EKG, X-ray, knee replacement, cataract surgery, etc.).

We’re not going to live forever. We’re not going to recapture our youth. But the idea is to live the best lives we can while we have lives to live. Good habits, sure. Good medical care, absolutely. But good friends who share and commiserate and understand – priceless.