Dear Annie: Taking babysitters for granted

Dear Annie: As the parent of a 16-year-old daughter who does a fair amount of babysitting, I wanted to vent about how inconsiderate I find many “parents” in dealing with babysitters.

It’s not cool to show up two hours after you have told your babysitter you would be home. I understand things can come up, but two hours is a long time! These kids have lives and make plans around what hours they work. This is what I call “babysitter abuse.”

It’s also not cool to “agree” on a fee for babysitting and then, when you show up two hours late, not take that into consideration and pay accordingly. Also, if you know you are going to be late, communicate with the babysitter.

If you know you are going to be out drinking, you also might want to let the child know you won’t be able to give them a ride home. Last week, my daughter said she could clearly smell alcohol on the parent who gave her a ride home.

These kids are put in tough spots at times and can feel uncomfortable challenging adults, especially when their payment is at stake. So, all you parents out there, think about how you would want your daughter or son treated if they were babysitting. Our daughter won’t be watching those kids again. – Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned Parent: Driving under the influence is never OK, especially if you have a minor in the car. The events you describe are babysitter abuse, no question.

Rather than telling your daughter to have nothing to do with those parents, this could be a good learning experience. If she were to have a conversation with the parents about how their behavior was so unfair and inconsiderate, then she would gain confidence and these parents would gain understanding. Be with your daughter during this conversation, provided that you can stay calm.

It might not work, but either way, your daughter will look up to you for defending her and will know that if people treat her unfairly, she has the right to speak up in her own defense.