Dear Annie 6/25

Dear Annie: My parents and my in-laws have a habit of cleaning out their houses by bringing their unwanted things to my house. When we first moved in together, my husband and I thought they were trying to help by giving us things so we wouldn’t need to buy them, but it’s been more than a decade, and it continues.

When asked if we want items from their homes, we always decline. More frequently, though, things are left on our porch or in our garage. Unless it is something we think they may want back (something we know is an heirloom or expensive), we throw everything away. The things we feel like we have to keep go into the attic.

Obviously, this is a minimal issue compared to most, but we are tired of being responsible for their unwanted items. Please encourage your readers, especially those downsizing, to manage their own belongings and not push them onto family without asking, and to respect the response. – Minimalist

Dear Minimalist: You and your husband need to have an open and honest conversation with both your and his parents. If you tell them you don’t want their items but then keep heirlooms when they are left with you, no wonder everyone is confused. While you are correct that family members should not unload their stuff on one another, it is also traditional for families to pass on heirlooms.

Perhaps you and your husband should go over to your respective parents’ houses and decide what is an heirloom and what is trash. My guess is they are unclear. One clean sweep of everyone’s stuff will prevent this constant appearance of unwanted items.

Dear Annie: I was glad to see your column mention the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings available on Zoom. In the small state of New Hampshire alone (where I live), there are hundreds of Zoom meetings weekly, as of this writing. – paul

Dear paul: These virtual support group meetings have been a lifeline to many during the pandemic. There are also meetings available by telephone, so you don’t even need a computer to participate. Other support groups have made virtual and dial-in meetings available, including Al-Anon Family Groups (http://al-anon.org/), Families Anonymous (https://www.familiesanonymous.org), Narcotics Anonymous (https://www.na.org) and LifeRing Secular Recovery (https://www.lifering.org), to name just a handful.

For anyone who’s been considering attending a support group meeting but never done so: There’s no time like the present.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.