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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Dear Annie 8/30

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Editor’s note: The following column was previously published in 2017.

Dear Annie: I am a 15-year-old boy, and my family hates me because I am gay. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I am attracted to other guys. My parents found out last year and became extremely angry with me. All I feel now is their hatred. They say I am a disgrace.

Though they still take care of my needs – food, clothes, shelter, etc. – they say that when I turn 18, I’ll be on my own. I am not included in any family outings or welcome at any of my relatives’ homes.

I try really hard to get them to love me again. I work hard at school and have excellent grades. I am constantly doing work around the house, but nothing gets acknowledged. I try to apologize for being gay, but they won’t hear it.

The only one in my family who still seems to love me is my big brother, but he is in the Army and only comes home a couple of times a year. He has talked to my parents on my behalf, but they don’t listen to him at all. I have considered suicide, but I really don’t want to die. I just want to be forgiven. Is there anything I can do? – “Riley”

Dear Riley: I know life is very difficult right now, but I beg you, please, do not hurt yourself. And if you feel that you are going to, dial 911.

If you are not in immediate danger and would just like to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through, I highly recommend calling the Trevor Lifeline at (866) 488-7386.

The Trevor Project is a nonprofit that focuses on suicide prevention among LGBTQ+ youths, and someone is there to help 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Whoever answers can provide resources for coping with the hardships you’re facing at home. You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Hang in there and there will be happier days in your future. I promise.

Dear Annie: A farm that has been in my family for four generations was passed down to me. I love this land. It is not a great investment, I admit, but I don’t want to sell it. Instead, I would like for my children to own it when I die. My children don’t share the same connection to the farm that I do. I understand that they most likely will want to sell it so they can use the proceeds for something else. I am OK with that.

The problem? My husband insists that I should put his name on the deed now or provide in my will that he will inherit the farm from me if I die before he does. He insists that I should do so “as a sign of respect.” He says that he might need to sell it to pay for his care in old age. I doubt that, because we are reasonably well-off, but I have offered to put the land in a trust so that if he doesn’t have enough money to pay for his care, the income from the farm can be used to support him. He is not satisfied. I am worn-out from arguing. What should I do? – Love This Land

Dear Love This Land: It is your ancestral farm, and you should do with it whatever you please. But seeing as you mentioned that money isn’t really a concern, have you looked into donating the land? You seem to have such a deep connection with it that you might find joy in knowing it went to a good cause.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book – featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to

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