Dear Annie: My husband and I met in high school and have been married for 23 years. Before we were married, we broke up several times and dated other people. He joined Facebook last year, at the end of August. He friended an old girlfriend from high school.
I got mad, and he responded by blocking me. I have never felt the need to check his phone, but something didn’t seem right, so I gave in. I checked his phone without his permission. I found out about a week after joining Facebook that he had sent a message to someone he used to work with before we were married, and he asked this person if he knew how to get a hold of an ex-girlfriend he had dated at one of those times when we had broken up.
In the message, he told this person he wanted to see this ex-girlfriend and that he really missed her and has never forgotten her.
I am devastated and not sure what to do. I want to confront him. All these years, I thought we had a good marriage. We have two beautiful teenage children. My heart is broken. I need your advice. – Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: Trust is a fundamental pillar in a marriage, and he has broken that. It is understandable that you are devastated. You and your husband desperately need marriage counseling, whether he admits it or not. If he refuses to go, then tell him what you know about his desire for his old girlfriend and ask him why he is so unhappy in your marriage.
Ideally, you can confront him about his text messages with a counselor in the session so there will be a moderator in what is likely to be a heated exchange – with the goal being to get your marriage back on track. He has to stop bullying you by doing things like blocking you on Facebook. You are supposed to be on the same team.
Dear Annie: I wrote this when my mother was alive, and I want to share it with you and your readers. Sad to say, she passed away in 2009. I still miss her.
God took a dash of wisdom and patience, and to this, he added a loving heart. He took the stars from heaven and put a twinkle in your eyes. We call them mothers, but they are really ANGELS in disguise. I love you, Momma. – Sweet and Sassy
Dear Sweet and Sassy: You and the great Abraham Lincoln had the same thought: “All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” What a gift it is to have a loving and caring mother. We all recently celebrated Mother’s Day, but I like the idea of celebrating our mothers every day.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book – featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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