‘I knew where my dad wanted me to be’: Maryland head coach Brenda Frese leans on support of staff, players during familial strife

Brenda Frese received news early on Jan. 16 that tragedy had struck.

Frese’s father Bill died after a battle with prostate cancer, a year after announcing the cancer had spread to his bones. He was 89.

Frese, now in her 20th year as Maryland’s women’s basketball head coach, had to make a decision. The Terrapins were scheduled to host Big Ten Conference rival Michigan that night in College Park, Maryland.

“I knew where my dad wanted me to be.” Frese said. “I coached a game because I knew then that’s where I needed to be. You lead by example, and we’ve seen many tears shed and emotions this year, but that’s OK. To be authentic and genuine, to do really hard things, you give an example to your team.”

The Terrapins lost to the Wolverines 69-49, but Frese’s dedication and commitment to her program has guided her team back into the Sweet 16 for the 10th time in program history. Maryland, the Spokane Region’s No. 4 seed, plays top-seeded Stanford at 6:30 p.m. Friday at the Spokane Arena.

“It happened in the heart of the season during conference play. Now, here we are in March and we’re in the Sweet 16, but there’s not a day that I don’t have a thought about my dad. I think about him every day,” Frese said.

Frese’s father was the sports engine that inspired her to invest in what is now Maryland’s ongoing program success. The last time Frese cut the tournament nets down was in 2006, when the Terrapins defeated the Duke Blue Devils behind Kristi Toliver’s go-ahead 3-pointer at the end of a nail-biting overtime. There’s a candid photo of Bill cutting down a piece of the net for himself, something that Frese said she’ll “cherish forever.” He was known to still catch Maryland’s games after resting from chemotherapy treatment.

“They encouraged, supported and built us up,” Frese said of her parents. “My parents just let us play the sport that we loved to play and supported the heck out of us.”

Frese also finds the strength to continue through her assistant coaches and players.

The day of Bill’s funeral in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Karen Blair, Maryland’s assistant coach, led the Terrapins against Ohio State during Frese’s absence. The Buckeyes won that Big Ten battle 95-89.

“You know as a team, something we’ve talked about is honoring Bill’s legacy,” Blair said. “He stood for hard work and family,” Frese said. “I’m happy with the performance by the team. I thought this team came out and they played their hearts out. I think we made Bill and Brenda proud.”

After all, Maryland’s staff and players held Frese close when one of her twin sons, Tyler, battled leukemia at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in downtown Baltimore in 2013.

“I’m grateful that through this grieving process, I’m just with people who love and care for (me),” Frese said.

Within grief comes vulnerability, a strength in building a tight bond among players and coaches. This Terrapins team is witnessing one of the hardest chapters in Frese’s life. But for Katie Benzan, the senior graduate guard, supporting Frese has been something that has deepened respect for her coach. Benzan recognized Frese as “one of the strongest women I know,” citing her decision to coach on the day Bill died.

“To honor her father and family like that, I don’t know if I have to strength to do that,” Benzan said. “She’s just set such an example as a woman, a mother, a coach. I’m just so lucky to look up to her and learn lessons from her.”

For senior guard Chloe Bibby, Frese has not missed a beat. Frese’s toughness and competitive spirit have given Maryland more reasons to love her dedication to the game.

“Obviously, what she’s gone through and overcome is just incredible,” Bibby said. “She brought that fire every single day, whether it’s in practice or in games. We feel that passion in her when she’s on the floor and I think that fuels all of us.”

Since Jan. 16, the Terps have gone 11-4. They’ve racked up big wins against Big Ten foes, like their 81-69 win against No. 22 Iowa that shifted the conference’s standings; another win against No. 18 Ohio State; and a down-to-the-wire, buzzer-beating win against No. 10 Indiana to close out the 2022 regular season.

After being in danger falling out of the AP poll entirely, the Terps finished at No. 13.

Maryland guard Angel Reese earned first-team All-Big Ten and all-defensive team in the conference.

Bibby, junior guards Diamond Miller and Ashley Owusu all earned the second-team All-Big Ten honors and all-defensive team recognition.

Through the first two rounds of the tournament, the Terps are the second-highest scoring team with 95.9 points per game.

It’s been a rocky season for Maryland, but the Terps have upped their game ahead of the Sweet 16. Miller notched her season high 24 points against Florida Gulf Coast in the round of 32.

They’ll have to bring their best game against top-seeded Stanford, which is looking to defend its national title.

But the Terps feel ready

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Friday night, when the Terrapins take on Stanford, Bill Frese’s legacy and her players’ support will be there for Brenda.

“We want to play hard for her and that Maryland style of basketball she loves,” Bibby said. “She’s our leader. We’re gonna follow her.”