Dear Annie 2/6
Mon., Feb. 6, 2023
Dear Annie: I have been living with my boyfriend, 34, and his brother, 35, for a few months now while I am searching for an apartment. So far, it has not been going well. It seems as if my boyfriend and I get into an argument every day about small stuff. He will raise his voice and then tell me he isn’t raising his voice at me.
My biggest issue right now is the way he and his brother talk about women. They literally wake up and talk about how much they hate the “modern” woman. They cite a laundry list of the things women need to do to better themselves. After I told them that I disliked those comments, I was scolded and told that I could leave if I don’t like it.
My boyfriend’s behavior and views have made me rethink our relationship. I am in a weird place because I am technically homeless. What should I do? – Feeling Offended
Dear Offended: His sexist views of women are off-putting and outdated, to say the least. It is understandable that you are offended by these comments; in fact, it would be surprising if you weren’t. Keep asserting yourself and expressing your dislike for his comments. Stand up for what you know is right. If he continues to scold you, it might be wise to put more urgency into your search for a new apartment.
I am sorry that you are homeless. It does put you in an uncomfortable and vulnerable situation, but that doesn’t mean that you have to put up with his abuse.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the writer who said she was only invited to the shower but not the wedding. This happened to me once. I figured that the invitation had gotten lost in the mail. I did not want to ask directly if this was the case, so instead I asked about the upcoming wedding, including where it was to be held and whether they had chosen a time for the event. It worked. My friend was startled. She said that she didn’t know – hadn’t I received the invitation? When I said no, she immediately mailed another one to me! – A Happy Guest
Dear Happy Guest: I love your letter because it shows the importance of communication. We as humans make so many assumptions about what is going on in the other person’s mind, and if we were just to ask them, a great deal would be cleared up.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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