Dear Annie: Don’t look back

Editor’s note: Annie is away. This as originally published in 2020.

Dear Annie: I’ve dated my boyfriend for more than 12 years. We got along fine when his grown kids were out of the picture, but now they’re back living with him. His youngest is 21, yet he treats them like infants. The daughters are manipulating and controlling. When I bring up my feelings about the situation, he accuses me of being jealous and insecure. I feel I’ve wasted years in a relationship going nowhere.

I always helped him with rent, up to $700 a month, even though his kids don’t pay rent. Recently, I moved out. His response to my moving out was “We’re glad you’re gone!” – Feeling Left Out

Dear Feeling: I, too, am glad you’re out of that house. Now you need to get out of the relationship. Having been in it for 12 years is not a justification to stay in it another second. Ahead of you is the rest of your life, and I believe the coming years can be your best. If you’re having trouble finding the strength to seek out that better future, I encourage you to seek therapy. You deserve so much better than what you’re getting now.

Dear Annie: Hurricane Irma hit my neighborhood two years ago. I need access to electricity for my CPAP, nebulizer and oxygen concentrator, so I went to the hospital before the storm hit.

My nephew thought that I acted like a 3-year-old. We had a wonderful relationship before the storm, but Irma changed all that. Since then, I’ve read about noncompliant nursing homes and assisted-living communities whose residents died during the storm. How can I convince my nephew that I did the right thing? – Safe Senior

Dear Safe: Your nephew thought it was immature of you to seek shelter at a hospital during a hurricane? I’m flummoxed. Rather than continuing to try to convince him, let it be enough to know that you did nothing wrong, and divert your energy instead toward developing a thorough disaster preparedness plan. Start by letting your power company, local police and local fire department know that you are oxygen-dependent. The Red Cross offers a free downloadable guide on its website entitled “Disaster Preparedness: For Seniors By Seniors” that includes some additional tips if and when the next storm hits.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.