House call: Is your child struggling with mental health?

As parents know, kids’ behavior changes quickly and sometimes in seemingly unpredictable ways as they move through stages of development and navigate new friendships, situations and responsibilities. It can be one of the joys of parenting to help build emotional and mental health skills, but there’s also a challenge in identifying mental health changes over time that are different than other developmental changes.

Mental health issues are common in children and teens, but we’re currently seeing a crisis of youth mental health conditions in the U.S. As a clinician, in the last few years I’ve seen more kids struggling with isolation, fighting and relationships and more kids in emergency situations related to mental health. We see this rise attributed to many things – social media use and screen time, changes in school and home life, stress over school work – but the bottom line is more children ages 6 to 13 years old, as well as more teens, are coping with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

Mental health includes how your child copes with emotions and behaves in reaction to those feelings. Recognizing when there are developmental delays or problems in how your child copes with feelings or disruptions in their behavior, social skills and emotional state can help address any changes that interfere with their wellbeing. For this reason, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, a panel of medical experts, recently recommended that primary care doctors screen all children ages 8 to 18 for anxiety. Many providers, including Kaiser Permanente Washington where I work, screen patients for anxiety, depression, aggression in children starting at age 6, grouped by ages 6-9 years, 10-12 years, and 13-17 years.

Addressing mental health concerns early is important. A combination of clinician screening and parent or caretaker engagement on mental health can help catch issues early, work to teach children skills, and connect with treatment when needed.

Signs your child might be struggling

Any marked difference in personality or functioning could be a sign of anxiety, depression or other mental health concern. Those might include changes to routines, sleep, eating and their school work. Parents, teachers and others can help identify early signs of mental health issues. Look for signs your child:

• Is feeling very sad or withdrawn for two or more weeks.

• Has severe mood swings.

• Shows big changes in behavior.

• Often has problems in friendships and other relationships.

• Has a sudden overwhelming fear or worry that does not match the situation.

• Seems unusually irritable or displays explosive anger.

• Has changes in their eating habits, weight or sleeping patterns.

• Has lots of stomachaches or headaches.

• Avoids school or stops doing as well as they used to in school.

• Is taking new risks, like using drugs or alcohol.

Talk to your child about coping with strong emotions and plans for preventing a crisis. If you see signs of a possible mental health concerns, call your child’s health provider and be specific about what you are seeing and your concerns. They can help recommend treatments to improve their mental health.

Your child may see a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or certified counselor if they need more support. It’s worth noting teens/adolescents can access their own mental health care at the age of 13 in Washington state, separate from their parents. Many high schools have health centers inside their campus buildings where they can get help.

As hard as it is to talk about, it’s important to recognize the warning signs of suicide – especially when it comes to changes in behavior. Warning signs can be expressions of worthlessness, sadness, isolation or anger and acting out or withdrawing.

If your child ever talks about wanting to hurt themselves, seek help immediately. You or your child can call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7, 365 days a year.

Supporting your child’s emotional skills

Growing up can be hard and all kids will hit bumps in the road. Simply checking in with your child and asking how they are feeling and how things are going helps support them and can help you identify changes that might need to be addressed. A few ways you can support your child’s emotional well-being include:

• Create space to check in and talk, and listen to what your child is really saying. They may want help problem solving or they may just want to be heard. Check in even when they seem OK.

• Label the emotions and validate their feelings by asking questions, telling them you heard them and understand with words like: “I hear you’re feeling left out.” “It makes sense that you feel sad about that.”

• Support your child to come up with ideas for coping with emotions when they feel anxious, sad or mad. Talk with them about their concerns and help them learn skills that work for them to process emotions.

• Boost your family’s mental wellness overall, making room for one-on-one time, limiting screen time and doing things together that everyone can enjoy.

• When things get tough, you can help kids direct their energy with activities like outdoor play, creative art time, yoga for kids and even silly dance breaks to relieve stress.

As kids grow, we can nurture habits that build good mental health, just like we teach children good hygiene and nutrition. We’re facing a community crisis around youth mental health and it will take all of us to care for our kids. I’m challenging Spokane to engage, connect and make a personal commitment to wrap our arms around our youth and take care of them in unprecedented ways.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/