Dear Annie: Trusting your instincts in dating

Dear Annie: I’m a divorced man in his mid-60s with no children, and I have a job that I’m very secure in.

I recently began dating a woman who I met at a work seminar. Our first few dates didn’t give me much hope for anything serious or long-term. It took her at least a half-dozen dates before she felt comfortable kissing me goodnight.

The date after that, it was back to square one. No kiss and a quick hug.

Since then, her behavior has had me very puzzled. Any idea why her behavior is so inconsistent? – Mixed Signals

Dear Mixed: Always trust your first instinct. After your first few dates, you knew that there was not much hope for anything serious. You sound like a straightforward person who knows what he wants, and if your date is not reciprocating any affection, then it’s like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. You are wasting your time and hers. Move on and find someone who wants to kiss you back.

Dear Annie: What should I do about my marriage, which is becoming toxic?

I don’t know if it’s jealousy or anger that can’t be controlled – without screaming and downright physical altercations at times. When we think we have solved our problems, one can’t forget what the other says or does, and the fights start all over again. He says that he has changed his narcissistic ways, but I still feel controlled and almost afraid of him.

I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Am I reading too much into a bad relationship? – Walking on Eggshells

Dear Eggshells: You always have a choice. If you choose to stay in the marriage, then you must forgive the past because the only person you are hurting by not forgiving is yourself. You might try seeing a couples counselor before making a final decision about whether to stay or leave. If he is physically abusing you, please call the domestic care hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at thehotline.org. There is help available for you.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.