Francisco R. Velázquez: Thinking about kindness as we approach the end of the year

By Francisco R. Velázquez, M.D., S.M., FCAP

Not that long ago, I had trouble paying for a parking meter. A young lady with a little girl approached me and offered to pay for my parking. I didn’t know her, and she didn’t know me. Eventually we figured out how to use coins as she also had issues with the meter. This simple act of kindness from a stranger changed the course of a hectic and stressful day. More importantly, she set an example for her child of what kindness looks like and means to others.

The American Psychological Association defines kindness as “benevolent and helpful action intentionally directed toward another person.” It is often considered to be motivated by the desire to help another, not to gain explicit reward or to avoid explicit punishment.

Kindness is ubiquitous. According to a study published in Scientific Reports in 2023, around the world, people are seen helping each other about every two minutes. Helping someone when they ask for help is one of the most frequently performed acts of kindness, according to a large-scale study conducted by the University of Sussex.

When we’re kind, we’re helping, caring, being thoughtful, and showing empathy and compassion. Kindness may be a simple, random act like giving your place in line to the person behind you. It may be helping a friend, family member, or neighbor, or volunteering for a community nonprofit.

Interestingly, according to researchers in primatology, evolutionary biology, psychology and ethology, kindness is not unique to humans. Behavior consistent with kindness has been described in many species. Regardless, we tend to see it as an admirable human trait, especially when kindness is shown to strangers.

Does showing kindness have any effect on our mental and physical health?

Short answer: yes. Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.

Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being and cause the pleasure and reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller, also may be released when you show kindness.

Most research on the science behind why kindness makes us feel better has centered around oxytocin. Sometimes called “the love hormone,” oxytocin plays a role in forming social bonds and trust with others. It’s the hormone mothers produce when they breastfeed, cementing their bond with their babies. Oxytocin is also released when we’re physically close to others. It’s tied to making us more trusting, more generous and friendlier, while also lowering our blood pressure.

In 1978, researchers looking at the connection between high cholesterol and heart health in rabbits made an amazing discovery. Feeding the rabbits the same high-fat diet, the scientists expected to see a similar impact to all the rabbits’ arteries. However, one group had 60% fewer fatty deposits than the other. The group with significantly better health outcomes was under the care of an unusually affectionate researcher who talked to them and petted them. In contrast, the other group were simply fed. In other words, the researcher was kind. The rabbit study was just the beginning of what we now know from decades of public health research; our social world is the significant predictor of our health. Much of good health depends on creating supportive relationships in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and communities. This means every kind or unkind action we take makes a difference in our health and the health of others.

I believe that experiencing acts of kindness – both toward me and to others – has made me a better person. One question I ask myself at the end of each day is, “Did I do something good for someone today?” The answer must be an absolute “yes” or “no.” My “something good” doesn’t have to be anything big; it can be as simple as a smile or an encouraging gesture or as tangible as helping carry something.

Your world and the world around you can change with a simple act of kindness. Let’s try it every day.

Francisco R. Velázquez, M.D., S.M., FCAP, is the health officer for the Spokane Regional Health District.