Note to the producers of “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”: I want my money back. It cost me $5.50 to see your crappy movie, so I expect you to forward me that amount in a money order or personal check. Hell, I’ll even take cash.

I will not accept any free movie passes.

What I really want is to have the 110 minutes back. That’s nearly two hours of my life that was wasted on something I should have walked out on. But to date, “Christmas with the Kranks” remains the only film I have ever left early.

“Chuck & Larry” is bad, but “Kranks” is in a category all its own.

How bad, though, is “Chuck & Larry”? For fully its first half, it passes on every kind of gay-bashing joke you’ve ever heard. None is fresh, smart or anything but the standard kind of rip on gays and lesbians, delivered Adam Sandler style.

Then the second half features the obligatory turn-around, with scenes such as the one featuring Sandler assaulting the cartoonish gay-hating minister (played by Rob Corddry) and Dan Aykroyd, of all people, making a plea for tolerance.

Look, guys, many of you were involved with “Grandma’s Boy.” Good for you. That little piece of humor was truly funny. It didn’t try to be something important wrapped up in every cliché dating back to “Boys in the Band.” It was simply gross and silly and stupid. And full of laughs.

“I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” makes “50 First Dates,” which tried to say something about brain injuries, look like “The Graduate.” And as good as Drew Barrymore is, she’s no Katharine Ross.

So I want my money back. Unless you’ve find a way to give back time. Then you can keep the money. I want that part of my life that you wasted.

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