In the true and arrogant spirit of a freethinking, politically-correct pinko, I am starting (right now) a weekly collection of quotes from various liberals, both modern and historical, without regard to what the fascists up top think of it.  After all, I'm entitled to my absolute and unquestionable freedom, aren't I?  This will veer in and out of seriousness and satire, as well as in and out of praise and criticism for the liberal viewpoint and the representatives of liberalism throughout history.  The manner it's done in will be scatterbrained and confusing.  

I classify liberal using a blend between today's standards and the relativity of the person's stances in their own contemporary time.  Liberal does not necessarily mean Democratic.  Here we go, you impractical, pseudo-intellectual Marxists, you.

“Economics is like the Dutch language; I’m told that it makes sense but I seriously have my doubts.” -John Oliver.

This is actually a valid analogy; the only problem is that nobody pretends to know (or care about) the Dutch language, while the majority of the world, our nation, and (getting more specific) our nation's advisers insist on upholding the illusion that there is some sort of strategic way to go about doing all of this economic "repair", as well as the illusion that the majority of our currency isn't just empty paper symbolizing theoretical funds that aren't there.

"If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins." -Patton Oswalt

Damn straight he does.

"I have no problems with Republicans, just Republican policies." -Stephen Colbert (out of character)

I figured this was an important quote to get out there, as I'm a bit of a filthy liberal myself and the bias in these two paralleling posts might become apparent, whether I'm aware of it or not.  As fiercely as I've debated with conservative friends over issues such as gay rights, international policy, and social programs and as absolutely convinced I am that they are entirely wrong, endangering the planet, and misunderstanding something that I myself completely comprehend, I realize that their sentiments are similar and strive to keep their political beliefs separate from their value as individuals and how interesting their personalities are.  We get along, telling similar jokes, enjoying similar pleasures, having many similar experiences, and the understanding becomes that no matter how different we are, no matter who is right, if anyone truly is, our similarities as humans and our genuine intentions to preserve or progress the greatness of humanity unify us in a way that transcends the disunity caused by our petty bickering. 

To summarize:  Relax.  Nothing is sacred to me and I say a lot of mean things, as well as a lot of benevolent things that come off as mean because of the challenge they present to the views of others.  But it's nothing personal.  In the end, whether I'm throwing empty spitballs at burnout hippies or frightened traditionalists or wording serious invectives against the veil of political correctness that threatens freedom of speech or the gross, I'm just having a bit of detached fun.

This is my way of asking if it's cool to do this, and if it isn't, I expect to be censored, imprisoned, and brutalized so I'll have something to tell all of my friends at Humboldt and Evergreen. 

Comments on these quotes/my analysis of them?

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