Vacation Tidbits: Voice Vote; Cleaning Fluid Quencher

Like AH-nold’s character said in “Terminator II”: “I think I need a vacation.” But I realize my obligation to you “Huckleberries” addicts. So, here’s a little Best of Huckleberries from the last six months to tide you over until I get back:

CdA Mayor For One Week Al Hassell’s reasoned stump speech for a $9 million street bond won at least one supporter at a recent infomeeting. Whispered new builders’ exec Susanne Blodgett to a female companion: “He has such a wonderful voice.”

Then, there’s the HagaPress sports story that began: “The Spartans looked so awful in the opening minutes Thursday night that Christianson Gymnasium quickly became Christianson Mausoleum in a 115-65 (that’s no typo, folks) cakewalk for North Idaho.” But it was a typo. The final score was 115-55.

Big John Rook spotted this great bumpersnicker in the earthshaky San Fernando Valley: “Shift happens.”

One line in Realtor Marshall Mend’s sappy valentine ad bears repeating: “You’re (Mend) never slow, you’re on the rum, you work so hard, yet you make it fun.” Maybe that’s why he couldn’t find me the right house when I was looking.

Forensic pathologist Dennis Sheppard droned on so long at the NIC vs. Finney civil trial that Magistrate Paul McCabe dozed off. Afterward, an observer commented to NIC prez Bob Bennett: “Did Sheppard get paid by the hour or by the word?”

Ponderosa Elementary School kindergartners were buzzing with excitement as ex-Super Bowl quarterback Mark Rypien entered the room, escorted by DARE officer Pete Marion. The youngsters were hard to control. Seizing the moment, Post Falls schoolmarm Mary Bohlman asked, “Children, do you know who this is?” They sure did. In unison, they shouted, “It’s Officer Pete!”

Back-seat drivers are rarely welcome - particularly in a honeymoon getaway car. Ask newlyweds James and Robin Neil. They were just beginning to enjoy their first private moments of marital bliss when Post Falls teacher Gale Adams bobbed up from the back seat. She had hid there awaiting a signal honk from a trailing car. Pretty good gag, huh? Huh, James and Robin? Huh?

There they were. Steve and Judy York of Post Falls dining at a posh restaurant in Kimberly, B.C. He looking deeply into her eyes. She drinking out of his wine glass. She drinking the cleaning fluid that accidentally made its way into his glass. She burning her mouth horribly and winding up in the emergency room, along with the chef who later sampled the firewater. They too nice to sue. They invited back by the restaurant for another romantic weekend, all expenses paid. But they’ll BYOB, thank you.

At Sandpoint Middle School, an English teacher suspects the Tam o’Shanter pub on Cedar Street has had an unhealthy influence on the school’s seventh- and eighth-graders. Seems too many junior citizens missed the word tavern on a recent spelling quiz. They preferred the spelling used for years on a Tam o’Shanter outdoor sign: tervan.

Springtime sunshine and a Hudson hamburger or two brought gramp and granny downtown Wednesday noon. He, wearing a portable oxygen tank, held the door and enjoyed a laugh with the cook, as his sweetheart maneuvered a walker out of Roger Hudson’s place. During the slow exit, the old couple looked each other full in the face and grinned easily. How much could they tell today’s youth about love?

How is it that the Huckleberry Hound, 44, is getting grayer, while sixtyish Ron Rankin is getting darker? Hair and ‘stache. There must be a Grecian in his family tree.

Can’t blame Post Falls High upperclassmen for being confused about the administration’s zero-tolerance booze policy for the Senior Prom - particularly after receiving wine goblets as prom souvenirs and beer steins as graduation mementos.

Summer officially arrived at 5:03 p.m. Wednesday (May 25). That’s when a Californian crashed into a CHS driver’s-ed car while trying to turn left from the right lane of one-way Fourth Street. Freshman Jake Burkey was driving the training car in the left lane with instructor Henry Hamill riding shotgun. Afterward, a CPD Blue asked Jake for his license. Responded the teen: “If I had a license, I wouldn’t be driving this car.”