Team Should Try ‘Skins’ For Its Nickname

Yes, sports fans, football season is just around the corner, and in the training camps the air is already filled with the jolly sound of knee ligaments being shredded. But all is not fun and games.

We have a serious issue to face, namely this business of team nicknames that some folks find offensive. This issue is not going away. There was a big convention of minority-group journalists recently in Atlanta, and the American Indian journalists there allowed as how they find the use of Indian nicknames for sports teams demeaning, and they want it stopped.

Now some teams, like the Atlanta Braves and the Kansas City Chiefs, can try to claim that their names symbolize Indian courage and nobility. But the Washington “Redskins”? Face it, that’s not a very complimentary-sounding moniker. Sure, we’ve become accustomed to using it. But suppose an Indian reservation got awarded a NFL franchise, and they decided to name their team “the Palefaces.” We’d think that was weird, right? Same difference.

Fortunately, there may be a simple solution to this dispute.

Think about all the conversations you’ve had, or heard, during football season. What is it you always hear in these parts, as a Monday-morning conversation-starter? It’s this: “How ‘bout them ‘Skins?”

Not “Redskins.” Just “ ‘Skins.”

You see the same thing in the newspaper. “ ‘Skins Trounce Cowboys, 49-0” (heck, let me enjoy a little fantasy) is what headline writers tend to write.

In everyday parlance, the team gets called “the ‘Skins” as much as it’s called “the Redskins,” if not more often.

So the way to stop giving offense is obvious. The football team could simply call itself what most of its fans already call it.

It could officially change its name from the Washington Redskins to the Washington Skins.

Remove the color, and no group should be offended. I’ve got skin, you’ve got skin, all God’s children have got skin.

Well, nudists might object. But it would be fun to watch them picket RFK Stadium. In fact, Skins is a most appropriate nickname for a Washington team. As any taxpayer will tell you, Washington is the place where we all get skinned.

There will be at least one difficulty. The team’s fine old fight song, “Hail to the Redskins,” wouldn’t work anymore. The words will be one syllable too short for the notes.

Maybe the team could adapt some other song. Like “Beauty’s Only Skins Deep.” Or, whenever the Washington defense swarms over the other team’s ball-carrier, we fans could sing tauntingly, “I’ve Got You Under My Skins.”

Also you might wonder, if the Indian image is out, what will the team do for an emblem or logo? Maybe they don’t need one. The Cleveland Browns get along fine with nothing painted on their helmets.

If they must have something, maybe they can replace that Indian head on the helmets with a portrait of Mr. Clean, the famous skinhead.

There, what more could you ask for? Well, you could ask that, should the Kansas City Chiefs decide their nickname must go, too, they change it to the Kansas City Shirts.

Then, when K.C. plays D.C., it’ll be just like the old schoolyard matchups: Shirts vs. Skins.