Can You Make It Rain, Dear?

Tue., Aug. 16, 1994

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Santa’s public relations people sent us a copy of a letter from a Spokane kid named Kitra Yeager.

“Dear Santa: I know this is kind of late in the year. Well the reason why I’m righting you is because I want to know if you can make it rain…P.S. Can I have a picture of Rudolf!”

Overheard on an STA bus:

Man: “Wow. You’re pretty. You must have a boyfriend.”

Woman: “Well, yes I do have a boyfriend.”

Man: “That’s too bad. I bet you have pretty friends, too. Here. That’s my phone number and address. Could you please give it to your friends? Thank you.” - submitted by a Swell Paper colleague who still can’t believe how lame some guys are.

Facts of life: “When our 4-year-old neighbor was asked if she still planned to marry our 3-year-old son, she replied, `Well, I hate boys, but I have to marry a boy and he DOES have a penis.”’ submitted by Edwall’s Sharon Wollweber-Johnson

Dear John: “Dynamite in a mailbox/ Doesn’t smoke before it blows” - by songwriter Liz Phair

Great moments in children’s literature: “Rabbit read each news article and suggested changes.” - from Loreen Leedy’s “The Furry News: How to Make a Newspaper”

You know somebody doesn’t get out much: When she talks about going to Partners for dinner.

It’s all Spokane’s fault: “SWF, 24 YO, professional, stuck in a city I swore I’d never return to.” - from a personal ad in The Inlander

Slice quiz: What state celebrates Bennington Battle Day today? (We wanted to offer a pair of Slice boxer shorts to the first caller to leave a message on our phonemail, but they aren’t ready yet. But call anyway.)

In the afterglow:

Her: “What are you thinking?”

Him: “Nothing, really.” - from L.G., who added “Cheers to my beau for being honest.”

Today’s Slice question: Whose office has the best view in the Inland Northwest?

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