The Check’s In The Jail
When the replacement players lost their jobs Sunday, many spoke in bittersweet tones of friendships gained, of camaraderie, of togetherness. In Florida, Phillies replacement Ken Dixon wasn’t saying much - preferring instead to utter. In legalspeak, “uttering” constitutes passing bad checks. The 34-year-old Dixon was arrested Sunday for allegedly swiping $1,900 in travelers’ checks from teammate Tom Niles.
They can fire him and even jail him, but they’ll never be able to take away Dixon’s record for steals.
Something to do during the next strike
The only man to play in a World Series and the Super Bowl wants to play pro basketball.
“I want to play in the NBA, even if it’s for just one game,” Deion Sanders said during a recent visit with Grambling State head football coach Eddie Robinson. “To play in the NBA well, that would mean I’ve done just about all you could do. I would want to play guard.”
He chuckled before making a clarification: “Shooting guard.”
But does Deion have the game? “Hey, if Michael (Jordan) can play baseball, I know I can play basketball.”
And we’ll bet Deion could shoot better than .202.
Do as I say, not as I’ve done
European soccer player Eric Cantona had his two-week jail sentence for assault overturned on appeal this week. But Cantona, arrested for charging the stands and kicking a fan during a game in January, isn’t off the hook entirely. Instead of doing hard time, Cantona has been sentenced to 120 hours of community service - coaching youngsters on the finer points of soccer.
“It has to be demanding,” cautioned Susan Wildman, spokeswoman for the Greater Manchester Probation Service. “We are very keen to show that community service is not a soft option. If he teaches children, it might be for a prolonged period or with considerable numbers of children.”
A light sentence, to be sure - but tougher than the wink a German court gave to the nut who stabbed Monica Seles.
Prank you very much
Pranks aren’t limited to the big leagues. John Bansch of the Indianapolis Star detailed the off-ice antics of Daniel Gauthier, who plays for the Indianapolis Ice of the International Hockey League: “Gauthier has been known to insert an egg into the skate of an unsuspecting teammate, rub atomic balm on the liner of a rookie’s helmet, dump cold water on people taking hot showers, slop salad dressing or chocolate sauce on the shoes of people in a buffet line, load up towels with shaving cream, put baby powder in hair dryers and drench the hair of unsuspecting targets with shaving cream during airplanes rides.”
Still talking a good game
Charles Barkley dissed the Spurs, who then went out and beat the Suns. Undeterred, Sir Charles talks on.
“I sent them a message today,” Barkley said after scoring 45 points in the 109-106 loss.
“What message?” countered San Antonio’s Sean Elliott. “That he can score 45 and they still lose?”
The last word …
“TNT is pumping NBA games into a 3.2-million household Latin America market Thursdays. The folks south of the border have four language choices: Spanish, Portuguese, English or Hubie Brown.”
- Phil Jackman, Baltimore Sun