Cheap Seats
No news is good news
They don’t call the minors the “bush leagues” for nothing. The Canton-Akron Indians of the Eastern League have backed off a threat to revoke press box privileges for the Canton newspaper, the Repository, if it published “negative” stories about the team.
The Repository promptly sent back its press credentials and said it would buy grandstand seats for its reporters - at which point the ball club agreed to provide unconditional credentials to writers covering the team.
Proving once again that “negative press” is impossible without the cooperation of the ballclub.
Smokin’!
You might say that San Francisco Giants pitcher Mark Portugal has been tarred and nicotined by his teammates - having been exiled to a corner of the spring training clubhouse because he’s a heavy smoker.
“I’ve been kicked out,” he said from his cubicle near the entrance to the clubhouse. “I’m in the smoking section now.”
His place in the main part of the locker room was taken by Trevor Wilson. Portugal can now smoke to his heart’s discontent, apparently, but now has a different problem. At 6-foot and 200 pounds, Portugal has to watch his weight - and his new locker is next to the snack table.
“I’m in the smoking section and in the donut section and that’s not a real wise move,” he said.
Thank you, sir, may I have another?
Hawks guard Craig Ehlo, the former Washington State Cougar, once had five steals in a quarter in an NBA game, but doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
“I’m always in the notes stories, but they never write about my greatest record,” said Ehlo. “I was spanked 26 times in my school in the first grade. And that’s a record that still stands.”
Has he checked with Dennis Rodman’s grade school?
Feeling a draft up his aft David Barnes of the oneAustralia America’s Cup team will no doubt get a lot of kidding about his stripped-down boat designs from now on.
Barnes was watching opponent Team New Zealand trial its revamped yacht last week when six New Zealanders snuck aboard his tender boat and stripped him of his clothes.
“I fought pretty hard, but it was to no avail,” said Barnes. “I had to do some pretty tough talking to get $140 back from my trouser’s pocket.”
Developments on the strip …
Now, what’s fun and games in yachting is strictly verboten in soccer.
Jonathan Smith was fined about $10 for ripping off his shorts after scoring for Darwen in an English minor league match.
“I could not believe it,” Smith said. “Premier League players do not get booked when they take their shirts off (to celebrate a goal), so it came as quite a shock when he showed me the yellow card for that. It was just a bit of fun.”
The last word …
“History is over.”
- Ralph Kiner, after the Mets canceled his television show, “Kiner’s Korner”