Whatever Happened To Playing Donkey Kong?

Loose talk

Perennial starlet Brooke Shields on her clean-Jean image (in Details magazine): “OK, I’m sorry I haven’t been in and out of rehab. I apologize for not being completely coked out as we sit here, but does that make me a goodygoody? I’m not so Pollyanna. It’s not as though I won’t wear patent leather shoes so you can’t look up my dress.”

As we progress toward the 21st century, some aspects of life are becoming even more difficult to understand. Take the information superhighway, for example.

People are use their computers to communicate the way kids in the ‘50s did with two cans and a long string. Only they do it coast to coast. Utilizing services such as America Online, they type to each other by the hour.

And some, apparently, go a little too far. According to USA Today, America Online has deleted Love Line, the message board devoted to Courtney Love, widow of the late Kurt Cobain.

The problem? Users were accused of repeatedly breaking the rules, which included the use of profanity and racial, ethnic, religious or sexual slurs.

So the network snipped the string.

His parents were always after him to watch the Beaver

Tony Dow turns 50 today.

And, no, they don’t mean her cosmetics consciousness

The description: “Kathie Lee Gifford as seen through the eyes of Federico Fellini.” The object: Tammy Faye Messner, ex-wife of televangelist Jim Bakker. The source: A critic commenting on Messner’s singing ability, which is featured in a proposed Fox Network talk show.

Lord love a woman who doesn’t suffer fools

The quote: “You get along with Hillary about as well as Hillary wants you to get along with her.” The speaker: Presidential sibling Roger Clinton. The subject: Clinton’s sister-in-law, Hillary Rodham Clinton. The source: A book to be published about the Clintons in July.

Actually, it’s not such a problem in Central America

When political commentator George F. Will was hired as a visiting professor at Harvard for the fall term, several members of the faculty complained. “Oh, they have a terrible problem with affirmative action for conservatives,” responded Will. “It’s a problem worldwide.” Will, 53, hasn’t held a teaching post since 1970.

Her code name in the White House was Biker Mama

This just in from San Francisco Chronicle columnist Leah Garchik: Outlaw Biker magazine has honored Barbara Bush as First Lady of the Century. “Babs’ old man kicked butt in the White House,” reads the citation, “now her son leads the Lone Star state. They say behind every great man is a great woman; she’s behind two. They don’t make classy broads like this any more.”

Finally, the real reason why we lost the war in Vietnam

In “Liz: An Intimate Biography of Elizabeth Taylor,” author C. David Heymann reports that, according to an investigator for the California state attorney general’s office, Elizabeth Taylor over one 10-year stretch was prescribed “enough medication to fuel an army.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster