‘Melrose’ Gang Sure Will Miss Ol’ What’s-Her-Name
The infinite monkeys who write the script for Fox’s evening soap “Melrose Place” will have to do without their resident banshee. Heather Locklear, apparently, is leaving for greener cash drawers.
Locklear, who is generally credited with making the show a hit, is said to be headed for a big-screen career. She’s set up to make “Intolerable Cruelty” and “Executive Decision.”
Still, don’t expect to miss her on Mondays anytime soon. She has signed to do another season, which is supposed to include another bout with cancer.
“Heather fits into the new trend, which is, getting a huge TV personality to star in your movie,” said an unnamed Fox executive. “And she looks better in short skirts than Tim Allen.”
Loose talk
David Letterman on his recent Oscar duties (on “Late Show”): “Hosting the Oscars is a bit like being married to Larry King. It may be ugly, but you know it’ll be over in three hours.”
Think Andy will have a cake for his meal ticket?
Conan O’Brien turns 32 today.
The question still unasked: Who was stripping whom?
Arnold Schwarzenegger says he’s not afraid to take a DNA test to prove he’s not the father of a 13-year-old girl. “The allegation that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with an individual named Debra Wrenn is totally false,” Schwarzenegger’s attorney said. Wrenn claims she met Schwarzenegger in an Indianapolis strip club in 1982.
Still, though, they speak softly AND carry a big stick
Terry Anderson wanted government documents pertaining to his sevenyear stint as a political hostage in Lebanon. But the U.S. government, served with Anderson’s Freedom of Information request, sent him a stack of newspaper articles and boxes of blank documents. So he decided to sue. “I’m not angry any more than you get angry at a puppy for peeing on the carpet,” he said Friday in Atlanta. “But like a puppy, they need to be trained. You’ve got to rub their noses in it.”
Besides, the ‘Dancing Itos’ had a gig at Disneyland
So why did Jay Leno avoid any references to the O.J. Simpson trial when he performed privately for the Simpson jurors on Friday. One word: mistrial. “That’s all I need,” the “Tonight” host said. “‘Leno Costs State $3.8 Billion!”’
These days he likes to hum ‘Nearer My God to Thee’
So how does Phil Hartman feel about leaving “Saturday Night Live,” the show that brought him so much fame and fortune? “I’m happy to move on and save myself, frankly,” the comic told TV Guide. “I feel like I got off the Titanic.”
If ever someone should know, Ivana is she
Ivana Trump offers this bit of marital advice in her marriage primer “The best Is Yet to Come”: “The only time you don’t need a prenuptial is if he has no children… and he’s got a bad cough and a walker.”
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster