Plan Remembrance Party Much Like Reunion

Arranging a 100th birthday party for a guest of honor who is long deceased is not much different from planning a family reunion.

In fact, it helps to define the event’s focus, which should make planning easier.

Think of it as you would any big event:

As in planning a wedding, allow plenty of time. A year’s not too long.

Determine the potential number of guests, which will help you decide where to hold the shindig. If there’s to be a crowd and it’s a summer event, outside is the place. If there are lots of people and it’s winter, that’s another set of plans to consider.

For a picnic: If you want to reserve one of Spokane’s popular picnic sites, keep in mind that a lot of other people might want the same place at the same time. The Spokane Parks and Recreation Department starts taking reservations for its facilities at 7:30 a.m. every Feb. 1. I thought calling in April to reserve the Manito Park shelter for a late-August event would allow plenty of time. Wrong.

It so happens, a group meets every year under Manito Park’s shelter on the very weekend of our party. And, at precisely 7:30 a.m., Feb. 1, it’s on the phone to reserve the shelter for the group’s next August meeting.

So, if shelter and electricity are important to your party, plan ahead.

Make arrangements for an alternative spot, in case of rain.

But those are plans for just any party. To make this my mom’s party, here are a few things I’ve done and will be doing until the last moment, I’m afraid:

In last year’s Christmas letter I reminded folks of the upcoming “Wing Ding,” as we call our Wing-relative reunions. A few months later, I wrote a letter asking family and friends to send me memories to compile into a genealogy book. A second - and last - reminder was sent around June.

I took a picture of a picture (using a special lens on my 35mm camera) of mother holding her firstborn. It’s a very romantic photo that sets a mood of reminiscence.

The picture was used for the outside page of the birthday party invitation.

My “good” ideas sometimes get too complicated for me to carry out. That’s when I stop by my friendly, neighborhood Kinko shop and have them come to my rescue. In no time, the invitation was done, ready to be folded and stuffed and mailed, using, of course, “Love” stamps from the post office.

Because our Wing forefathers (and foremothers) had a family crest, I’m having it reproduced onto T-shirts and baseball caps as party mementoes. And, if they aren’t all sold at the party, I’ll use the leftovers as Christmas gifts (at least, I’ll have some of my Christmas shopping taken care of).

About a year ago I started compiling a photo album of Mother’s family from the 1890s to the 1980s. I ransacked all the fallen-apart albums that she’d collected and neglected for years and I’m making two albums that actually begins with her ninth-great-grandfather in the 1600s, then skips several generations to her grandfather. I took pictures of pictures loaned to me by others to make the album as inclusive of everyone as possible.

The album is compiled by decades and sorted further down into family sections: Each decade begins with photos of my mother, then moves on to pictures of her oldest child and his children, the second child and his family, and on down the line.

Let me give a bit of sage advice: This is a huge project! Make that enormous! It’s daunting!

And if it weren’t for the party next month, I’m sure I would never get it finished. We haven’t seen the top of our dining room table for at least three months. It’s buried under pictures, paper, scissors, pens, pencils, rulers, …

I compiled another album with pictures of the heirlooms that belonged to my mother, her mother, my paternal grandmother - and heirlooms-to-be of mine. Each album section begins with a minibiography and a picture of the woman, followed by pictures of her things and, in some cases, how she came to have them. That way, when others inherit these treasures, they will know their history and a bit about the person who first owned them.

These albums will be on a “treasure table” at the picnic along with copies of the genealogy book compiled on Mother, her ancestors and her descendents.

It’s hard to say good-bye when loved ones die. A party like this can help that process.

And there’s nothing morbid about it. It’s a celebration of her life. There will be no tears or sadness. There will just be lots of fun with games, food and conversation - just her kind of party.

We’ll get to enjoy another day with her as our focus. And as a bonus, we will not only recall memories of her and times past, but we’ll create memories for us to recall in the future.

, DataTimes