Tyson Fight Smells Bad, Looks Worse

Sucker-punched again, boxing fans wasted $49 for 89 seconds of pay-for-view buffoonery, chicanery and outright fraud.

Next time Don King tries to fleece everyone with a Mike Tyson extravaganza against a set-up chump, take your money and rent 15 videos that offer a lot more violence. At least you won’t be cheated the way viewers felt when Peter McNeeley’s cornerman stopped the fight in the first round Saturday night.

A slice of pizza took longer to eat. Microwave popcorn took longer to pop. If you got up for a drink at the start, you missed everything.

The 49 bucks it cost to watch Tyson’s comeback might as well been tossed in the garbage with the pizza carton.

This so-called fight smelled worse than the garbage. It had the aroma of a scam, a swindle, a theft.

For weeks, cable companies pandered this pay-for-view hoax. For hours leading up to the main event, KingVision showed tape of Tyson in training, tape of McNeeley promising victory in the “most anticipated fight of the decade.”

It whetted the appetite of boxing fans, hoping they might get a true view of Tyson’s condition, even if no one expected a long fight. But this?

This lasted a minute less than the national anthem. This was shorter than the introduction of ringside celebrities. This might have looked a little like a fight if you taped it and reran it a dozen times. McNeeley went down twice, bounced right up both times and was less bruised than most bananas at a fruit stand.

At least the announcers had the decency to label it a sham.

Steve Albert and Ferdie Pacheco sounded stunned and disgusted. Former champion and boxing commentator Sugar Ray Leonard put a fine point on everyone’s feelings of being cheated.

“People paid a lot of money,” Leonard said. “They’re not here to see a bizarre ending. Mike Tyson is supposed to be the savior of boxing. This type of fight hurts boxing.”“No, I never have,” Lane said.”I never have either,” Pacheco said.

King predictably praised Tyson and McNeeley, but his bombastic words never rang emptier.

After the fight, McNeeley spent almost as much time whispering into Tyson’s ear as he had fighting him.

“It was more gibberish and I didn’t hear much,” Tyson said.

“I told him he was a champ,” McNeeley said.

Asked whether he’s finished seeking the heavyweight title after such an embarrassing disqualification, McNeeley cursed and shouted:

“I’m coming back! I’m coming back!”

Pay-TV viewers can only hope it won’t be anytime soon.