Capitol Times Cry For Rhymes

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the House

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even Spokane’s Larry Crouse.

The voters were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of tax cuts danced in their heads.

When out on the Capitol lawn was heard such a clatter

Lawmakers sprang from their desks to see what was the matter.

Away to the window they flew in a flash

They tore open the curtains and threw up the sash.

The mood of the taxpayers gathered there showed

On property taxes this year, there’s no way they’d be snowed.

What to their wondering eyes did appear

But talk of initiatives, lawmakers’ big fear.

All the way from Spokane, in buses they came,

And whistled and shouted and called lawmakers by name.

“Now Silver! Now Schoesler! Moyer and Brown!

On Sommers! On Sheahan! Don’t make us frown.

To the top of the pile! To the top of the heap!

Cut property taxes first, or in November you’ll weep.”

And then in a twinkling, they heard on the roof

Mike Lowry, the governor, his convictions bomb-proof.

As voters did exit, did leave for their homes

Lowry slid on down that big Capitol dome.

Lawmakers drew in their heads and turned ‘round about

Saw Lowry come running, as he said with a shout:

“It’s tax cuts they wanted. But why so big?

You’d think state government had become quite a pig.”

Lawmakers nodded, said “Yes, don’t you see?

They want money back, lots, from you and from me.”

The governor stood there, his hands on his hips,

And said “I’m above such low politics.

“I’m prudent, responsible, and you are so reckless,

We’ll see who in the end voters find feckless.

These tax cuts you promise, they pander and pain.

They’ll send kids, our environment and schools down the drain!”

But the governor’s budget was bloodied, battered and ‘dissed,

“Oh what a target!” said lawmakers, “We just can’t miss!”

Yet his eyes how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry,

Lowry’s polls were dismal, but his spirit unwary.

After all there were months still ahead to announce

Whether on re-election Lowry would pounce.

Meanwhile it’s voters of course who will say

Whether Lowry or the GOP this session hold sway.

Each in their corner, they’re plotting and planning

Republicans and Democrats, polls ever-scanning.

But just for a while, between now and New Year’s

Maybe they’ll put aside all their political spears.

Call friends just to talk, put Olympia on hold

Knowing too soon they’d better be bold.

Face voters and budgets, re-election and taxes,

Endless messages, phone calls and piles of faxes.

Lobbyists, reporters, constituents and more

No wonder Todd Mielke left - lawmaking’s a chore!

As for voters, time to give it a rest:

Soon enough the Legislature will be quite a pest.

Taxing and spending, you know the rap

It’s much better to think of Santa, those reindeer and all that.

So as 1995 heads out of sight,

Just say merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

, DataTimes MEMO: West Side Stories appears every other week.