Sewer Problem Pays Off For Man In Pain, Suffering

New Spirit Lake Mayor Bob Knapp handled a King Solomon-type problem wisely recently. Seems residents Mike and Tammy Chapman spent a day trying to fix a sewage problem only to discover the city line was bad. So, Mike slapped a $147 bill on the city - for the cost of a wire snake, a water hose and eight hours of lost wages. But sympathetic city officials were afraid they’d set a bad precedent by paying Mike’s wages. No problem, said Mayor Bob. He relabeled the lost-wages portion of the bill as “pain and suffering,” removing the precedent, and the council OK’d payment. The audience cheered. Ditto, here.

Season’s greetings

The answering machine at the Kaiser Aluminum laboratory, where Post Falls Councilman Gus Johnson works, has a warm hello (sung to “Deck the Halls”): “Hello, you have reached the chem lab (fa la la la laa la la la la)/We’re all at rehab (fa la la la laa, etc.)/Leave your number and your name/And we’ll call you back and do the same/Christmas is the time of giving/But on these wages, who can make a living?/Here’s wishing you the best holiday,/We’ll have ours paid for by May.”

Season’s greetings?

Larry Young of Athol has witnessed two strange exchanges at area checkout counters this Yuletide. First, he heard a customer scold a Safeway clerk for wishing her a Merry Christmas. The customer believed the clerk had been programmed by Safeway to say that and didn’t want the good wishes. Later, Larry overheard Albertsons clerk April Westwood getting chewed out by a shopper for simply saying, “paper or plastic,” and not extending a greeting. Be careful out there.

Sauce for the gander

I once razzed North Idaho College Prez Bob Bennett for pocketing about $30 from a 50-50 drawing at a basketball game. Winners split a cash pot with the NIC booster club. Usually, fans with college ties donate the whole kitty to the boosters for equipment and uniform purchases. Well, S-R sportswriter Greg Lee won a $126 pot at the recent NIC/Dixie game and hoarded his half. Shamelessly, he used it to buy his wife a bread maker for Christmas. Greg, go stand in the corner next to Bob. … By the way, I hope the rum and brandy ordered for Prez Bob’s Christmas Party in NIC’s Wes Hatch dining room Thursday were recipe ingredients. (Cherries jubilee, anyone?) NIC is a booze-free campus.

Huckleberries

The Idaho welfare department has a lotta nerve suing a Shoshone County couple named Leetch for overappropriating tax dollars. … A bumper sticker on a red Jeep Wrangler in the U.S. Bank lot Friday was seasonally correct: “Christ is right.” Eat your heart out, Xmasers. … Let’s hope there’s more than a subtle difference between “squatters” and “homesteaders.” That’s how the bathrooms are labeled at Becky’s Burgers in Orofino. … “Spot” and “Fluffy” might be glad to know you can’t roast “dead animals or parts thereof” along with chestnuts over an open fire. So says a Kootenai County air advisory release. … If you’re going to throw something through a window, use a rock or another nondescript item. Eric Lostron of Clark Fork sicked the gendarmes on a neighbor Dec. 17 after a ceramic frog came flying through his window. … List of three things Farmin-Stidwell Elementary students learned about Gov. Phil Batt on Tuesday: 3. He drives a Cadillac, 2. He’s a 49ers fan, and (drum roll, please) 1. His favorite books in grade school were Hardy Boys mysteries, Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Mark Twain novels.

Parting shot

Sensing unrest, CHS principal Steve Casey defended the district’s decision to send both athletic directors to a national convention in sunny San Diego. At a booster luncheon, some were grumbling privately that one AD (CHS’ Larry Schwenke or Lake City’s Ron Adams) should have attended and shared the info later. But CHS would have none of it. Schwenke had worked hard and deserved a vacation. (My bloodhound is “almost absolutely sure” Casey called it “a vacation.”) I don’t really care - as long as taxpayers didn’t pick up greens fees, too.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review