Cheap Seats

Why don’t we get drunk and play two?

Fair warning: Singer Jimmy Buffett has purchased part ownership of the Madison Black Wolf of the Northern League.

It’s his party and he’ll stop by if he wants to

Steve Spurrier doesn’t want to be a party pooper - well, maybe he does - but he’s more than a bit perturbed that Gainesville city officials are planning a win-or-lose post-Fiesta Bowl parade down University Avenue for his Florida Gators.

“I don’t like it,” Spurrier said. “I told them not to. I told them we’ve got plenty of time when the game’s over to do whatever we need to do, so I’m not for that.”

The Gainesville city commission voted to spend up to $9,000 on a parade to honor the team regardless of the outcome of the national championship game Tuesday between No. 2 Florida and No. 1 Nebraska.

“They may have one (parade) without us in it then, because I don’t know if we’re going to be in a parade mood if we’re not successful,” Spurrier said. “That’s something to worry about later.”

Florida’s athletic department was besieged with calls when word of the parade got out, but it is not involved in the plans.

“We may not participate if things don’t go well,” Spurrier said. “We’re not involved in any of those plans right now … so don’t say the Gators are planning any big victory party, because that’s not true.”

Great, then you won’t mind if the Cornhuskers come in your place.

Seven memorable seconds, obviously

John Robinson will be in his fourth Rose Bowl as a head coach Monday, but he was there first as a player - with Oregon in 1958 when the Ducks lost to Ohio State, 10-7.

“I played end and got in for about the last seven seconds,” Robinson recalled. “Ohio State had a big All-American lineman (Aurelius Thomas) and when the game ended, he hugged me and said, ‘You played a great game.’ I said, ‘Thank you.”’

Try to guess what I am now

Do they award gold medals for subduing Yobs? Make Kevin Bracken, Brian Keck and Dave Surofchek the early favorites. The three American Greco-Roman wrestlers recently broke up a food fight aboard an Northwest Airlines flight.

The trio was returning from tournaments in Scandinavia when their bulk came in handy in bringing 18 British tourists under control during a flight from London to Minneapolis.

“They assisted the flight attendants in subduing and restraining the rowdy, almost violent passengers,” Northwest Airlines spokeswoman Sara Steig said. “They were much larger than the flight crew.”

The wrestlers helped pin several of the tourists and handcuffed three men to their seats, in accordance with airline regulations for handling unruly passengers. Officials said the group of three families began throwing food, yelling and swearing when flight attendants refused to serve them more alcohol.

If you’ve ever eaten on Northwest, you’ll understand their confusion as to what to do with the food.

The last word …

“It’s too sad to even be a country-western song.”

Browns broadcaster Doug Dieken, who played with the team for 14 years, on the franchise move to Baltimore

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo