Trying To Trim The Pork Is A Never-Ending Battle
We simply must remember to sign up for that “Renewing American Civilization” college class Newt Gingrich teaches in Georgia.
First he revealed that women aren’t fit for combat because they get “infections” in foxholes, while men are “little piglets.”
Lately, according to Roll Call magazine, the House speaker has been discussing his own health habits:
“I swim at 6:15 or 6:30 each morning for a half-mile. … I hate doing it at 6:15 in the morning, and I hate having it built into my schedule, because I don’t like being controlled.
“I also know that I’m 51, and I have an obligation to keep my health up and I drink too much beer and eat too much ice cream, and if I don’t swim, I will look like a little round bowling ball, and it will be disgusting.”
Senate Majority Leader and presidential hopeful Bob Dole, reminiscing about last fall’s GOP sweep: “They say it was such a landslide even the dead people in Chicago were voting Republican.” Don’t forget to clean up those cake crumbs
Tony Randall turns 75 today.
Actually, it was more a lusting in his heart
Former President Jimmy Carter says he was just joking the other day when he told an audience he had “prayed, well, quietly that people like Newt Gingrich would be defeated” last fall. Explained the former president: “I mean, that was just kind of a figure of speech.”
Better be careful - big brother is watching
The speaker’s sister, Candace Gingrich, understands where Carter was coming from. Gingrich, a lesbian, told the gay magazine The Advocate: “Now that Newt is more prominent and the Republicans are in control, I’m worried.”
The centerfold is certainly a first step
John F. Kennedy Jr.’s new magazine for government junkies - simply titled George - is scheduled for a September debut. Kennedy partner and executive publisher Michael Berman says the project “aims to reach an audience interested in politics in a way that no other magazine currently does.”
With Eddie, of `Frasier’ fame, as Checkers
Director Oliver Stone’s next movie, “Nixon,” is said to be a sympathetic study of the scandal-plagued president. Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins is committed for the title role, with John Turturro reportedly in the running as Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.
He sent over a dozen cigars - or was it 39?
Political odd couple Mary Matalin and James Carville are expecting their first child in July, a girl to be named Matalin Mary Carville (or “Mattie” for short). “I’ve already consulted with (Surgeon General nominee) Dr. (Harry) Foster (Jr.) about it,” Democrat Carville told the Washington Post. “He was very excited for us.”
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino