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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

Like I was saying, Hugh …

Journeyman NBA coach Kevin Loughery had been dangling since spring and was finally fired this month by new Miami Heat GM Dave Wohl - whose playing career ended 10 games into the 1977-78 season, when then-New Jersey coach Loughery cut him.

As an assistant, Wohl coached his first game when Loughery, a noted referee baiter, was ejected. “We go to Houston and Hugh Evans is officiating,” Wohl recalled. “I look up at the team fouls on the scoreboard and it’s 1-0, 2-0, 3-0, 4-0 and finally 5-0. I’m screaming at Hugh, `Look at that! It’s 5-0! It’s 5-0!’ Hugh walks over real quiet and says, `Dave, the five is on them.”’

And a small Diet Coke, waiter

At 5-foot-9 and 312 pounds, Bozo Caplan knows food. He also knows boxing, which makes him the perfect publicist for heavyweight champ George Foreman.

“George likes to eat, but no more than a lot of people do these days in America,” Caplan advised Doug Krikorian, a columnist for the Long Beach Press Telegram.

To prove his case, Caplan arranged for Krikorian to meet Foreman at Michael’s, a five-star restaurant in Las Vegas. Plates of hors d’oeuvres were set down, but, astonishingly, Foreman only pecked at the goodies. “See,” Caplan whispered. “All he’s been eating are the pickled olives.”

That quickly changed when it was time to order the main course. “Prime rib,” Foreman stated.

The food arrived, and a double-end cut, 48-ounce prime rib was set in front of Foreman. Two hours later, the plate was clean, prompting one of the owners to admire, “Wilt Chamberlain is the only other person to have ever finished eating a double-end cut of prime rib here.”

Unfazed, Foreman proceeded to order a chocolate torte off the dessert menu.

George put his favorite dessert on layaway until April 22, when he’ll devour a cupcake named Axel Schulz.

Hysterical footnote

Sonics forward Detlef Schrempf complained of foot pain after a recent game against the Golden State Warriors. And it’s no wonder. Schrempf discovered three basketball cards inexplicably lodged in his right shoe.

Planted by an archrival, no doubt.

Take a gamble, for Pete’s sake

He calls his old man “HK.” That’s short for Hit King, as in Pete Rose, who had 4,256. Pete Rose Jr.’s hit total in the majors is even easier to remember - zero.

And despite the frustration of having not made it to the bigs, Rose Jr. has managed to keep his sense of humor through six minor-league seasons. “I’m up for Player of the Decade in A ball this year,” he quipped.

The last word …

“Today, too many of the NBA’s best players take the money and run. No. That’s not true; they take the money and saunter. Too few run.”

Charlie Vincent, Detroit Free Press