He’ll Serve No Client Before His Or Her Crime

Mon., Jan. 2, 1995

Compiled By Staff Writer Dan Web

Attorney Alan Dershowitz, has enjoyed his share of celebrity cases. Among his clients have been Leona Helmsley, Jim Bakker, Mike Tyson, John DeLorean, Patty Hearst and O.J. Simpson.

But according to David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace, co-authors of “The Book of Lists, the ‘90s Edition,” Dershowitz’s would have liked to defend many more. Among them:

Socrates - “I would have urged him to appeal rather than taking the hemlock.”

The Salem Witches - “What a challenge! To defend in front of judges who genuinely believed in witches!”

John T. Scopes - “I would have loved to make monkeys out of politicians who forbade teachers from teaching evolution.”

King Charles I of England - “I always wanted to defend a king.”

Loose talk

Words written by Lee Harvey Oswald on his military discharge papers, auctioned Thursday for $8,250 in New York: “Now for the next adventure.” In the war of Hollywood profits, he truly is a lethal weapon

Mel Gibson turns 44 today.

That last guy was felled, you know, by a called strike

Just so you’ll know, The Sporting News lists the following as the five most powerful men in sports: Media Magnate Rupert Murdoch, National Football League Commissioner Paul Tagliabue, National Basketball Commissioner David Stern, Media Magnate Ted Turner and acting baseball commissioner Bud Selig.

Only behind her picket fences does he deign to doff his mask

The announcement: Jim Carrey, 32, and Lauren Holly, 31, are engaged. The proof: a 4-carat diamond set in an 18-carat gold band.

Notice that O.J.’s name is conspicuously missing

And the answer is, Nobody Famous. That’s the result of a Harris Poll of 1,250 adults as to who should be named “Person of the Year.” The top answer was a friend or relative. The rest of the list in order was President Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, Jimmy Carter, Bob Dole, Mother Teresa, Newt Gingrich, Billy Graham and Ross Perot.

And this guy’s going up against guys with gold fingers?

He may be the next James Bond, but Pierce Brosnan obviously is not made of steel - or even of particularly hard wood. The 41-year-old actor is in Los Angeles where he is recovering from surgery for a herniated disk.

He knew she was a princess when she fell and broke her crown

The quote: “She looked just like a princess. I gave her a little wave and she waved back.” The speaker: Vail, Colo., bartender Kevin Brady. The occasion: Brady was commenting on seeing Princess Diana schuss by on a Vail ski slope.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster

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