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Let’s do the same thing, but with crickets
Bushwood had gophers. Pinehurst has the South American mole cricket. The fuzzy little foreigner, now eating its way across North Carolina’s courses, threatens two tournaments coming to Pinehurst in the next few years - the U.S. men’s and women’s opens.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that mole crickets will become a serious problem in the next years at Pinehurst,” said Rick Brandenburg, an insect expert at North Carolina State University. “They can devour a lush fairway so there’s nothing but soil.”
Where’s Bill Murray - sorry, Carl Spackler - when a golf course needs him?
It’s the money
Sacramento Bee columnist Mark Kreidler handed out midseason baseball awards during the weekend, reserving the “Straight-faced-lie Golden Spittoon” for Twins manager Terry Ryan.
“In a 13-hour span,” Kreidler notes, “Ryan traded pitchers Rick Aguilera and Scott Erickson (combined salary: $6 million) for two rookies (combined salary: $218,000), then said, in a quote that I am not making up, ‘I’m not dumping salaries.’
“Ryan - who, in fairness, is only doing the bidding of owner Carl Pohlad - also noted that, in trades, ‘you have to give up something to get something.’ In this case, that would be an ace reliever and the team’s best starter for … well, for $5.8 million worth of salary savings. Rest easy, Twins fans.”
Give an inch, take a year off
Brad Daugherty left the Cleveland lineup before last season as the Cavaliers’ starting center. Maybe he’ll return as a small forward.
Seems Daugherty, who has started light workouts after undergoing major back surgery, has told the team he is an inch shorter as a result of the surgery.
Poor guy. Now he’s only 6-foot-10.
No offense, but …
If Jim Ferlo, Pittsburgh city council president, has anything to say about it, the Pirates won’t be in Three Rivers Stadium much longer.
“If (Pirates chairman) Vince Sarni bit himself in the arm, he’d die of blood poisoning,” Ferlo said. “The city should tell Sarni and baseball, ‘Don’t let the door hit you in the (butt) on the way out of Pittsburgh.”’
Dye from the stench
There was a reason Arizona Cardinals offensive lineman Ernest Dye kept wearing the same sport shirt this spring. He was in too much pain to change.
The 6-foot-6, 325-pounder could hardly lift his arms after undergoing rotator-cuff surgery on both shoulders. Naturally, his personal hygiene suffered.
“I wore the same shirt at least a week,” Dye admitted. “It (the smell) was pretty rough.”
No one complained, of course.
From the ‘Truth is stranger than fiction’ dept:
Comedy writer Bob Lacey notes that with Steve Howe and Darryl Strawberry, “The Yankees are the first team in history to have two players forbidden by law from associating with one another.”
The last word …
“I have the body of a man half my age. Unfortunately, he’s in terrible shape.”
- 48-year-old British marathon runner Jeremy Hyams
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo