Good Or Bad? Is Everything Coming Up Roses?

At the risk of sounding like those stereotyped old persons who lament that things were better when they were young, I must say that certainly one thing WAS better much better - when my generation was younger. We had trust. And we had reason to trust. Now we have neither.

As an example, let me describe our lives in the early ‘40s, although I suspect it will be impossible for any one at all young to believe this.

My husband and I owned and managed Angelo’s Flowers and Greenhouses. There were no locks on any of the doors. Everything was wide open. This was true 24 hours a day. And in the summer, the doors to the greenhouses that bordered on East 29th were often not even shut.

Often, on winter nights, we would walk through the dark from our house - about a quarter of a block - to the shop or the greenhouses. It never occurred to either of us that this might be dangerous. Because, then, it simply wasn’t. The doors to our house were never locked, either.

For maybe 10 years, nothing was ever stolen. Then, there was a small theft. Not the adding machine, the typewriter or the cash register. And not money. Just four or five cyclamen plants from a shelf in one of the greenhouses. And can you believe that we were so shocked, that we had a sense of having been violated? This was a time when one could go for a walk alone - day or night - with no trepidation. It was a time when our children could go trick or treating without an adult and could accept apples or homemade fudge without any hesitations - or parental warnings.

It was a time when if the doorbell rang, whoever was closest to it - even your toddler - could open the door without anyone having a second’s worry.

It was a day when your small children could walk by themselves to school, even if it were a mile or longer. Or walk to a friend’s house at night to study together. Alone. Not to worry.

Back then, small children were allowed to be trusting. And adults felt free to make friends with small children, without fear of protective parents hovering near or even grabbing them away. In fact, although it seemed the only possible way of life at the time, it was surely the way life must have been intended to be.

Today we look for danger and trouble everywhere we go - and not because we are paranoid. But because there IS danger everywhere we go. Just going out to put a letter in your mail box (if you have rural delivery) early on a dark winter morning takes a spurt of courage. Now, when we stop at an arterial, we often hastily lock our car doors - if we haven’t already formed the habit of always having the car doors locked. And if someone knocks on our doors, especially at night, we don’t even try to hide our apprehensions. After all, we are not being cowardly. Just cautious. Just wise.

For most older adults, it’s one more terribly unwelcome change. But children, although they don’t realize it, have lost their inalienable right to innocence, the most beautiful part of childhood, as it is meant to be. I doubt there are many losses more tragic than this one.

Today, even the most gullible person, if smart at all, has to be aware of - has to be on the lookout for - all the frightening things that could easily happen. (And that DO happen.) We can no longer be impulsive. We must be eternally watchful. We must try to be always alert and even somewhat prepared for whatever occurs.

But, to me, worst of all is that we can no longer believe that there is good in everyone. Because by now it has been proven, far too many times, that this is not true. And because we can no longer trust, we have become cynical. Whether we want to be or not.

Whatever the future, I must say that right now I miss those trusting times - that utter belief in the good of others - with a painful intensity. Platitudinous or not, I insist that some things WERE much better when I was younger. It is a truth which cannot be denied.

MEMO: Editor’s Note: Is the world a better place to live than it once was? Or much worse? Two essay writers tackled the question. Now, we pose this challenge to the seniors in our community: Read these essays and weigh in with your opinion. Is the world now better or worse? You decide and let us know.

The world: Better or Worse? Write your comments to Rebecca Nappi, The Perspective Page, The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, Wash. 99210-1615. Or call Cityline from a touchtone phone, 458-8800 in Spokane, 765-8811 in North Idaho. Punch in category 9882. Spell your first and last names, leave a daytime number, your age, and a brief message. Thank you.

Jane Lavagetto, 75, is a Spokane freelance writer.

For the opposing view, see the story under the headline “Good or Bad? Or is the whole world going to the dogs?”