He Coulda Been A Contender

Surely you heard, during ESPN’s telecast of Gonzaga’s victory in the West Coast Conference tournament final, commentators point out that the Bulldogs had never reached the NCAA Tournament during John Stockton’s era at the school.

Well, Stockton’s Utah Jazz teammates heard it. And they didn’t let him forget it after the Zags earned their first NCAA bid with an 80-67 win over Portland.

“You were always looking to score too much in college,” Karl Malone darted Stockton. “That was your problem.”

The Chicago Bearish

It’s been a rough off-season for the Chicago Bears’ Super Bowl team of 1985. Mark Bortz, the team’s last remaining starter, retired. The Cardinals didn’t retain Jim McMahon or Wilber Marshall. Green Bay sent Steve McMichael packing. Fridge Perry wasn’t claimed in the expansion draft. The 49ers cut Richard Dent. Even coach Mike Ditka was passed over, by the lowly Rams, of all teams.

Which left Bears kicker Kevin Butler, safety Shaun Gayle and Steelers quarterback Mike Tomczak as the only active ‘85 Bears, assuming none of the others is hired elsewhere.

Then Walter Payton came to the rescue, inviting the public - for $7 a head - to attend what Sweetness called a family oriented sports and memorabilia show last month.

Payton, Dent and Perry joined the likes of Dan Hampton and Mike Singletary for the three-day reunion.

In keeping with the ‘85 team’s renegade image, however, outspoken receiver Dennis McKinnon was a no-show. Perhaps it had something to do with his demand for a $2,000-an-hour appearance fee.

No doubt Dennis is still waiting on his royalty checks for “The Super Bowl Shuffle,” too.

Too many crooks spoil the scalp

Need a ticket to a Phoenix Suns game? Ask one of the friendly account executives working the street. The Phoenix city council has legalized ticket scalping - as long as scalpers and scalpees do their dickering on a designated slab of concrete outside America West Arena.

Scalping had been illegal in Phoenix, though the law was rarely enforced. And at least one scalper named Gary - no last name in case he “forgets” to pay taxes on his profits - hates the new setup.

“I need to talk to people and I can’t do it with 100 other guys breathing down my neck,” he said. “My take is way down.”

The words of the prophets are written on Nikes

For a recent game in Chicago, New Jersey Nets forward Chris Morris wrote “Please” on his left sneaker and “Trade Me” on his right.

The last word …

“As of today, the economy has produced 6.1 million jobs since I became president, and, if Michael Jordan goes back to the Bulls, it will be 6,100,001 new jobs.”

- Bill Clinton