Bernie Goetz Does Buenos Aires
Diego Maradona, who fired an air rifle at reporters in a fit of rage last year, has offered to do community service if charges are dropped, his lawyer said.
The Argentine soccer star injured four reporters waiting outside his home in February 1994 after he was released by Newell’s Old Boys for repeatedly missing practice. Prosecutors want a four-year jail sentence.
“If the judge doesn’t grant Maradona probation, then it’s very likely he’ll end up in prison,” the defense said. “He would offer the injured reporters financial compensation and then repay society by doing whatever community service the judge demands.”
Community service, my air rifle. Just make him an usher in one of those outlaw English leagues.
Affirmative reactionary
Bill Koch’s decision Saturday to deep-six the grand experiment of the all-women’s America’s Cup boat Mighty Mary by putting a man aboard in a leadership role shows once more how, in sport, winning counts for more than honor.
The multimillionaire oilman said from the outset a year ago that his aim in turning over his defending 1992 Cup-winning boats and $5 million in seed money to a team of sailing women was to see how far they could go against more experienced men at the pinnacle of international sport. He vowed never to put a man aboard.
It soon became clear, however, that Koch and his vaunted technology program hadn’t produced a superior boat, prompting Paul Cayard, helmsman of rival Stars & Stripes, to gloat, “They’re not going to be able to sit back and giggle their way around the course in a faster boat. They don’t have a super boat, so they’ll have to sail smart and fast like the rest of us.”
When the women struggled to a 6-16 record, Koch hastily rethought his egalitarian ways. “We looked at it and said, ‘What are our objectives? What is our purpose here?”’ Koch explained. “Are we here to win, are we here to further women’s causes, are we here to be nice to each other? We went through a whole number of options and came to the conclusion that we’re here to win, and do the other things, but we’re here to win first.”
If the women aren’t feeling wanted, they can always jump ship - that Aussie crew could use a little advice before another $3 million goes down under.
No cheers from Norm
Missouri coach Norm Stewart is still whining in the aftermath of Sunday’s last-second loss to UCLA, reverting to what has become a tired theme - namely, that his Tigers were dissed because he’s never taken them to a Final Four.
Stewart, who, it should be pointed out, has yet to take the Tigers to a Final Four, ripped the NCAA selectors for giving Mizzou a No. 8 seed and sending it to the West for the third year in a row. He also ragged the media for not giving his team respect.
“That’s junior high, but after a while it wears on you,” Stewart said. “Give me a break. I haven’t been to the Final Four. If we win yesterday’s game, we’re probably there.”
Stewart said getting sent to Boise was like getting sent to “Timbuktu” and joked that next year he’d probably wind up in “Hong Kong.”
Perhaps by then Norm will have grasped the principle of “stopping the ball” so his team won’t get beat on a length-of-the-court drive.
The last word …
“My nose didn’t move. It definitely had position.”
- Phoenix Suns center Danny Schayes, on a shot to the shnozz that fouled out Hakeem Olajuwon