The Slice This Course Will Help You Find The True Clown Within

You don’t have to run for office. The community colleges are going to offer a course in clowning. “Find and develop your personal clown character,” reads the description.

Yes, balloon animals will be covered.

Choosing between trees and lakes: “I would rather live in an Inland Northwest without lakes because you stay cool and in the morning you can drink the dew and eat the animals.” - Phillip Littlejohn, Opportunity Elementary School

So this must mean it’s OK for everyone else to be unfeeling jerks: “Secretaries are often the great ‘humanizers’ of office routine and deserve to be recognized for their sensitivity to others’ needs.” - from an FTD press release stressing the importance of noting Secretaries Week (April 24-28)

Eat it: “When we fulfill our food cravings, we feel better.” - from Debra Waterhouse’s new book, “Why Women Need Chocolate”

Actually, crashing is the issue: Call (206) 772-1122 to find out about an upcoming Seattle clinic for people who are afraid to fly.

No wire hangers: “Mommie Dearest” is on TNT tonight.

Once upon a time: “When we moved here in 1971, Early Dawn Dairy was still delivering milk products to the door,” wrote Katy Brownlee.

Savings deposit: Moses Lake’s F.R. Justice saw a magpie grab a nickel and bury it in a gravel road.

Warning: Saturday’s Slice will feature readers’ vomiting stories.

Warm-up questions: How can you say Spokane is too small until you’ve met everyone? Shouldn’t there be some sort of requirement that written references to the District of Columbia include the “D.C.”? What do people who hang laundry outside on a line to dry learn about Inland Northwest air quality?

Today’s Slice question: Has anyone ever said “I’m going to show you Spokane like you’ve never seen Spokane” at the start of a first date?

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday on IN Life. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.