Cheap Seats

That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it

Those PGA pros can really get out of the deep sand. John Daly’s agent, John Mascatello, said his client skipped this weekend’s TPC to have oral surgery. But Daly said earlier he wasn’t playing because “I just can’t play that course. So there’s no sense going there and coming away with bad vibes.” Sounds like the surgery is being done to what’s coming out of Daly’s mouth.

In any case, Daly bailed out of Monday’s media day for next month’s BellSouth Classic. Tournament director Dave Kaplan tried to get David Duval to sub - but Duval begged off, reasoning that if he wins the TPC he’d be celebrating. “What happens if lightning strikes? It could be a pretty good party Sunday night.”

In John Daly’s suite. Oh, right, he’s recovering from oral surgery.

Can you show me something in a Bill Fitch?

The value of NBA coaches is appreciated, at least by men’s clothiers. Of the league’s 27 coaches, 22 have clothing endorsements.

“No matter if they’re complimented, like Pat Riley, or criticized, like Doug Moe, for their choice of apparel, NBA coaches are noticed by fans, fashion gurus and the media,” said Michael Goldberg, executive director of the National Basketball Coaches Association. “NBA coaches are the only professional coaches that a company could work with since baseball managers wear uniforms, football coaches often wear NFL licensed merchandise and hockey coaches are hidden behind the bench.”

Riley has a deal with Armani, Butch Beard with Perry Ellis, P.J. Carlisimo with DKNY and Mike Fratello with Hugo Boss. Ten coaches are clothed by national retailer Jos. A. Blank Clothiers, and eight have deals with local retailers.

Jerry Sloan, Del Harris and John Lucas have no deals, while Rudy Tomjanovich and Lenny Wilkens have personal tailors. Moe is out of coaching.

But you can find most of his ensembles at Value Village.

Sports marketing hell Here’s the story … of a man-made Hades. The promotions director of the Houston Aeros of the International Hockey League recently went over the wall by staging Brady Bunch Night. Attended by none other than Susan Olsen, who played Cindy in the seminal ‘70s TV series, the evening let anyone named Cindy, Mike, Carol, Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Alice or Brady - or any butchers named Sam - in the door for a discount price.

More frugal franchises might want to try Addams Family Night: free admission to anyone named Gomez, Morticia, Pugsley, uncles named Fester and cousins Itt.

So, is a Phoenix outfielder a snake in the grass?

Writes Phil Collier in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Rumors are that (Oakland) A’s hitting coach Jim Lefebvre will manage Phoenix’s expansion team (the Diamondbacks) in 1998 and that Seattle manger Lou Piniella will manage Tampa Bay’s Devil Rays.

“Just think - once Tampa Bay cuts a player, he’ll become an ex-Ray.”

The last word …

“For those of you scoring at home - you really ought to get some help.”

- Yankees radio broadcaster Mike Kay, calling a replacement game against the Red Sox