As Far As He Can See, The E Have Had It

Geraldo Rivera is about to have his face rearranged on the air again.

In 1988, the talk show host’s nose was broken in a brawl during a program featuring white supremacists.

Three years ago, as the cameras rolled, Rivera had fat cells extracted from his derriere (behind a banner, fortunately) and injected into his wrinkled forehead to smooth it out.

And on today’s show (you can catch it at noon on KAYU-Channel 28), he’s scheduled to have his eyes “done” for his faithful fans’ viewing pleasure.

Says Rivera: “I would never, ever have the guts to have plastic surgery unless it was on television, because I know that somebody would find out about it, and then they’d put it on their show instead of my show.”

Loose talk

Author Winston Groom, decrying attempts to make his famous fictional character into a conservative icon (in USA Weekend): “Forrest Gump is no more right than he is left … He probably doesn’t have the IQ that would even allow him to vote.”

And her Grammy keeps getting older, too

Mariah Carey turns 25 today.

In his go-rounds, he always grabs the golden ring

Fellow blab artist Larry King has announced his engagement to what would be wife No. 7, veteran television actress Deanna Lund (“Land of the Giants”). The prospective groom gloats: “My friends say this is the prize catch of all.”

He’ll be careful when he goes off the road again

A Texas judge dismissed marijuana possession charges against Willie Nelson, saying police had no business searching the country crooner’s gray Mercedes when they found him asleep alongside a highway in May. Nelson pulled over and nodded off after a long night of playing poker.

And here she was afraid he would be a real drag

Working with Dustin Hoffman in their film “Outbreak” was a challenge, Rene Russo tells People magazine: “He drove me nuts. We were supposed to be doing all these serious scenes on the telephone, and he would purposely try to crack me up. I’d be telling him that a virus is sweeping America and millions will die, and Dustin would whisper, ‘So, my little tart, are you upset?”’

Somehow, we suspect he isn’t smiling this time

New York state officials have hit Allen Funt and other producers of the “Candid Camera” television show with a bill in excess of $400,000 for back taxes, with more than $300,000 of that in interest.

Or maybe Mike Wallace could punch the clock

“America’s Funniest Home Videos” host Bob Saget, on the competition (in Entertainment Weekly): “I think the reason we’re doing so well is no one gets hit in the crotch on ‘60 Minutes.’ If Andy Rooney would just fall over in his chair or have a monkey jump on his head, then ‘60 Minutes’ ratings would definitely peak.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino