Giving Moms A Break St. Mary’s Catholic Church Hosts Lunch For Low-Income, Single Mothers

Patti Zbylski-Blume doesn’t expect a card, let alone a meal or a pat on the back for Mother’s Day next weekend.

She got all three Friday at a special celebration.

It was an early Mother’s Day gift, in many cases the only one, for 35 single and low-income mothers.

The hosts were the mothers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in the Spokane Valley. The baby sitters, waiters and waitresses were St. Mary’s School eighthgraders.

“This is what every mother wants,” Zbylski-Blume said, surveying her food. “I don’t care if they are single, married or what, everyone needs a break from the kids, someone else to cook and clean up.”

The lunch was a rare occasion for Zbylski-Blume. She was sharing company with other adults and temporarily free of her two children.

Mother’s Day proper will be very different, she said. On that day, she’ll visit her husband at Geiger Correctional Center. Then she’ll come home and cook and clean for her daughters.

“It won’t be nearly as nice as this,” she said.

For five years, the women of St. Mary’s have hosted the event for the clients of the Childbirth and Parenting Alone Program at Catholic Family Services.

Tawna McNeely, 18, came to the lunch for the second time.

“If I’m coming back, you know it’s got to be a good deal,” she said.

McNeely said she rarely gets free time away from Austin.

“I love him - but he’s 2,” she said. “This gives me a chance to get a break from my house, recoup, and to feel good about going home again.”

Being a single parent is more than just dealing with crying babies and demanding toddlers, said Cindy Babinski. Her son Adrian is 11 weeks old.

“Everything is so time-consuming,” she said. “You can’t just take off and do the grocery shopping when the baby’s sleeping, because there is no one else there.”

Instead, Babinski said she has to time every errand perfectly.

“I’ll feed her, change her, pack a bag,” she said “By the time I get to where I’m going she gets fussy, because it’s three hours later and she’s hungry again.”

On good days, Babinski said she gets one or two things accomplished. On bad days, nothing gets done.

“I don’t get out much,” she said.

On top of that, Babinski said she fears not being able to provide a good life for her son.

“The part that scares me the most is the money,” she said. “Obviously, I can’t stay on welfare forever. I’ve always worked before. But I’m not sure how the money will all work out.”

While many new parents have financial worries, Babinski bears her fears alone.

By coming together, the mothers were able to vent their frustrations. They also shared their delights.

Babinski ran on about the overwhelming love she has for her newborn. McNeely giggled about her son’s Sumo wrestler imitation. Zbylski-Blume described how her daughters have helped her overcome her shyness.

“Mothers gathered together have an inner wisdom and unique values to share,” said Sister Paula Hagen, guest speaker at the luncheon. “What a privilege it is to be a mom.”

Hagen is a Florida family therapist who wrote a book and curriculum for mothers trying to raise Christian children. Mothers of toddlers frequently seek her guidance.

“Often they think they are depressed,” Hagen said of the mothers. “When the truth is they are just isolated.”