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Leave Spokane out of this, mister

When the Lakers performed the annual duty of discarding Seattle from the NBA playoffs, Los Angeles Daily News writer Jesse Barkin was ready. After noting that L.A. meets San Antonio next, Barkin managed to tie Spokane to the Sonics’ misery. “For the Sonics,” he wrote, “it’s back to Seattle or Tacoma or Spokane, or wherever the heck they store underachievers these days.”

That would be in George Karl’s three-story doghouse.

Roll the tape

In 27 years as Phoenix Suns trainer, Joe Proski has taped a few ankles. He’s also had his 15 minutes of fame.

“I was a star for a while because of Connie Hawkins,” Proski explained. “National TV was in town, cause Hawk was here. Hawk fell to the floor and rolled around like he was in pain. I raced out to help him. He looks up and says, ‘Just grab my ankle, man. I’m going to get you some prime time. You’ll be a hero.”’ Sure enough, Hawkins jumped up and was terrific the rest of the game. Announcers gawked at Proski’s magic touch.

Proski also had a brief radio career. The Suns were at Boston, shortly after trading Paul Silas to the Celtics for Charlie Scott.

Celtics radio commentators, in a booth high above the floor, asked for somebody from the Suns to do an interview after a game in which Silas was sensational and Scott did little. Proski agreed, only because nobody else would comply.

“I said something like, ‘Boy, did we make a lousy deal, or what?”’ Proski recalled. Suns president Jerry Colangelo, then GM, was listening. “You should have heard the call I got the next morning,” Proski said. “I think that was my last radio show. But, hey, it’s not bad. I don’t have to climb up to that booth anymore.”

Hey Arnie - you guys playin’ the reds?

Lee Trevino has earned $5 million on the PGA Senior Tour, nearly twice the sum he raked in with the flatbellies before turning 50 six years back. And while Trevino is not about to bite the hand that keeps his family in Bill Gates’ tax bracket, he has concerns.

“It’s getting to the point where we’re playing courses (set up) shorter than the members play them,” Trevino said last month. “We have to start lengthening it out. If not, instead of competition it’ll become a show. You want it to be a challenge. If you keep it too short, that’s not always the case. And you might get to where the galleries and the sponsors stay away.”

Insiders became suspicious when, during a practice round at a recent Senior tour event, officials considered installing a windmill on No. 18.

Typical losers, always there to stirrup trouble

Two Cincinnati hoopsterswere arrested last week - for punching a horse, among other things. Danny Fortson was charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated, Art Long for the equestrian assault. Blair Baker was patrolling near campus when the two reportedly drove by and shouted at the officer. Baker radioed ahead for help. When the mounted officer arrived, Long allegedly punched the horse four times in the neck.

The last word …

“I just doubled my pay for the night.”

- TNT’s Ron Thulin, who retrieved a quarter that had pegged him in the head during last week’s tumultous Nuggets-Spurs game