Letterman, Meanwhile, Is Doing D’Amato’s Stuff
Meet Jay Leno, Secretary of Satire.
“As many jokes as I do about Bill Clinton and Hillary, I also write a lot of jokes for them, for speeches and things,” the “Tonight Show” host told TV Guide.
Leno, whose bipartisan beneficiaries have also included Bob Dole and Ronald Reagan, provides his services free of charge.
“I think when I met the president once, I said, ‘You know, if you ever need any jokes or anything, give me a call,”’ he explained. “So I get a call from the White House, and I say, ‘Sure, it’s an honor.”’
As for the Beltway scene, says Leno: “I went to a party at the White House, and it was like going to a party at Aaron Spelling’s house - except the people aren’t as attractive, and you get that fake turkey roll.”
Loose talk
Maria Shriver, introducing uncle Ted Kennedy to her hubby, Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Don’t think of him as a Republican, think of him as the man I love. And if that doesn’t work, think of him as the man who can crush you.”
Actually, it’s his cops who have the red noses
New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani turns 51 today.
Look, Daddy doesn’t mind who touches him
How come Chelsea Clinton wasn’t embarrassed to be hanging with her mother on their trip to Asia? A year ago, the first lady said, “If I’d hold her hand or put my arm around her, she’d go, ‘Oh, Mom.’ And then she turned 13 1/2 and she said, ‘I’m over that now. You can do that.”’
Don’t let it bring you down, man, just inhale
Mark Brown, the disbelieving brother-in-law of self-proclaimed presidential pass receiver Paula Corbin Jones, showed up at a Little Rock book signing by self-proclaimed presidential paramour Gennifer Flowers and told her: “I just want to shake your hand and I’d like to ask you … why you’re trying to bring down a president.”
So that’s how Behrends justifies the means
North Dakota sculptor William Behrends had no qualms about creating the new Capitol bust of former Vice President Spiro Agnew, who resigned amid a corruption scandal 22 years ago. Said Behrends: “A much more important thing to me was where it was going.”
The leeches, however, thought it really sucked
In other art news, Elaine Bearer, assistant professor of pathology at Brown University, debuted her composition for piano, violin and cello based on the rhythmic firing patterns of the neurons of a leech. As she told the school’s alumni newsletter: “For a music critic, it would have been beastly boring. But for a group of scientists, it was a lot of fun.”
And we thought love was supposed to be both
According to Roll Call magazine, after a congressional debate in which California Republican Randy Cunningham accused Democrats of supporting “homos in the military,” a colleague asked Massachusetts Democrat Barney Frank whether they were going to “kiss and make up.” Replied Frank: “You’re confused … I’m gay, not blind.”
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino